"The Play's the Thing"

Scene II

[A school playground. Enter left Brock, Misty, Ash, Gary and Oak. Oak exits right. Professor Ivy enters left and walks across stage.]

Brock: [leering] Behold, a damsel! Hark, O maiden fair,
I follow thee from here to yon I swear! [leaves, following Ivy]

Ash: What strange tongue! Prithee Misty, what say'th he?

Misty: Lo, thou art victim of same malady.
[gasps] I fear this oral woe has stricken me.

Gary: My fellows didst ye not hear that strange sound
Bedazzling us for a but a moment now?

Ash: 'Twas but the chime of our school clock I'm sure.

Misty: The song of that sweet lark above the door.

Gary: Methinks a certain pocket monster green
Is playing sport with us.

Ash: How rude!

Misty: How mean!

Gary: This monster has bewitched the ord'r of time.

Misty: Prithee do tell us more!

Gary: Aye, colleagues mine.
Our tongues have been transferred to a bygone age
Four hundred years hence past.

Ash: Egads!

Misty: Outrage!

[Gary faces the audience.]

Gary: Henceforth this woesome creature I shall seek
And restitution claim or vengeance wreak.
A task, a feat, a quest I undertake
And shall succeed in it for honour's sake.
But if I fail, then to the ground I fall
And follow Styx to Hades' dismall hall.
My solemn vow to this land ne'er retrn,
Unless I win my cause, my quest perform. [leaves]

Ash: Is it a soliloquy I hear?

Misty: 'Twould have been were not we his presence near.

Ash: And now, to arms, a matter now at hand!

Misty: And what may't be? Shall fight we some brigand?

Ash: Nay. I shall make use of my two arms and raise myself to see through the classroom window and behold the pocket monsters breed.

Misty: Thou mischievous fellow. Remeberest not the instruction of our master? Pocket monsters have need for privacy.

Ash: If they beholden me not, they shall be none wiser.

[Enter James and Giselle.]

Misty: Here come the upper class.

Ash: How say you so?
Their classroom lies from ours across the yard.
'Tis not above it.

Misty: [aside] Oh, thy brains are lard!

James: My fellows, some strange vocal malady
Has now befallen all here, even me.

Ash: Aye James, our colleague, Gary's on a quest,
To save us and to give our tongues a rest.

Giselle: In all sincerity I wish him fail.

Misty: Why do you wish such harm, O pray do tell?

Giselle: Methinks this new speech trully suit me well.

Ash: My good man, James, a boost thy off'rest me?
Inside the schoolchamber I wish to see.

James: I shall but if thou tellest me the reason.

Misty: Thou know'st 'tis pocket monster breeding season?
He wishes to behold a sight most rare,
An egg produced by mating monster pair.

Giselle: Oh my poor fellow! Is it not well-known
That pocket monsters only breed alone?
Surely thou knowest that! Oh, thou dost not?

Ash: That wench makes sport of ridiculing me.

Giselle: Hark! Call me not a wench for plainly see
I have the education of Athene,
No less the beauty of Aphrodite.

James: Thou construe thyself a godess from above,
Yet nothing can compare with me true love.
Her countenance most fair, sweet as a dove.
Whene'er I see her, when she cometh nigh,
My heartbeat stops, my lungs exhale a sigh.
But woe, alas, I'm not at liberty
To speak of this affection, pity me.

Misty: But why so? Doth she not your love return,
The flame of your affection coldly burn?

James: My beloved and I are as near to each other's heart as if we dwelt in each other's bosom.

Ash: Then tell us now what ails thee my good man!

James: A tale of sorrow, love that cannot be.
She is not worthy of my family.
To someone else I have been betrothèd.
Someone I cannot stand and loathe to wed.

Giselle: Colleagues, take note that recess is near past.
We must make ready for our coming class.

Ash: Egads! The breeding turtles! James I plea
And beseech thee to boost me up to see.

[James helps Ash see through the window.]

Ash: Alas, my curiosity shall be
Unsated for already do I see
An egg, and I have not discovered yet
The mode of its creation. What regret!

[James lets Ash down.]

James: I fear the fault is mine for troubling thee
With mine own sorrows.

Misty: Forbid it!

Ash: Indeed!
For my mere woe, unto thy troubled soul
Compares near not. I pray thee well, my friend.

[James and Giselle leave. Brock returns.]

Brock: Woe unto me, woe unto me I fear.

Misty: And what new tale of sorrow have we here?

Brock: Leave me alone, I am a sorry wretch!
I shall not speak a word of that foul wench.

Ash: The recess ends--return to our schoolbench!

[All exit.]