Chapter 5

Ash made his way through the dark hall of the Pokemon Center as quietly and as quickly as he could. His attention was divided. Some of it was on making his way out of the Pokemon Center, and the rest was on making sure "it" didn't know about it. Every few seconds he would glance back in paranoia at the lab door where "it" was "sleeping".

He had to do this. He had to because there was no other solution. But he also was certain that no matter what, this time he was in control. He may not have been responsible for the last 14 years of his life, but he will be responsible for making his final decision. It is his decision, and he wont let anyone take it away from him.

"They can't stop me," Ash repeatedly chanted in his mind over and over again as he approached the center doors.

A very slight swishing sound was barely heard as the doors slid open, letting Ash pass through. He was now under the darkness of the night sky. He would soon be free.

The little blue dragon's ear twitched at the sound emanating from the hall. Intrigued, it hopped off it's smaller than normal bedding and walked toward the door. It's stubby little legs barely struggled to jump up and reach the doorknob. It entered the hall just in time to see a small tuft of black hair disappear into the night. It immediately began to smile, almost joyfully at this sight.

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Misty had been twisting and turning continuously since she had gone to bed over 3 hours ago. She was noticeably stressed, and the pain from her injured ankle wasn't helping any. As much as she pretended at times that she didn't care about Ash, sometimes for the sake of her own sanity, she still couldn't deny that she was more than a little worried about him. Tomorrow she would be leaving with Brock, and hopefully the separation from Ash will make her accept the facts that have been presented to her.

'No, we're not friends anymore. He's all right with that, and he accepts that. I have to too. What he does now is his own problem. He is no longer my burden. Besides, he obviously doesn't care about me anymore, so why should I care about him? I'm just a fool if I do.'

She tried to reason with herself, but her heart would always counter, and win the argument with three simple words.

'But it's Ash.'

However, this time the argument seemed to end differently, for today her head was provided with a counter to that.

'But it's not Ash...Not anymore. He's changed. He's different...He's wrong.'

This argument within herself is what was keeping her awake this night. She was not pleased with the result. She wanted to care about Ash. She wanted to *take care* of him. But this time she was finding it harder and harder to fight against the logic of the situation. How could she care about someone who didn't want to be cared about? She was scared. Scared because she felt it. She felt herself giving up. Giving up on Ash, and on her association with him.

"Sook? Sook ! Sooknee!"

"Huh?" Misty lifted herself up from her bed.

Standing at the door wearing a worried expression was the baby dragon Sooknee.

"What's wrong, Sooknee? What are you doing up at this hour?"

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Ash couldn't help but stare at the sky.

He knew that "they" knew what he was doing. How could they not? But he didn't care. He had made up his mind. The only way to stop them from polluting his lifeline with any more lies, was to end his lifeline. He had nothing to live for anyway. A short while ago he had finally managed to deal with reality. As long as he was alive, he would be controlled. And to Ash, that was far worse than death. His only regret was leaving Pikachu behind. Pikachu was the only companion of his with a will of his own. All those years ago when Team Rocket said that Pikachu was special, Ash finally understood the true meaning of those words.

Ash was sure that there was no one else who truly cared about him. His mother, her head stuffed with so much propaganda, and seemingly heartfelt words. It brought disgust and pain to his heart just thinking about his last visit with her. Brock, his guide, his friend, his conscience. He thought of Brock as a brother, but his friendship was most likely a tool of convenience. Someone used to push him where "they" wanted him to go. And Misty, his once closest human companion. Another likely convenience, no doubt. There was nothing like a "chance meeting" in this world. She was just another puppet, ironically, used to pull at his strings. At that thought his grip tightened around the blade in his hand.

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"What is it? Where are you leading me?' Misty asked curiously, following the dragon Pokemon barefoot through the cold lobby of the Pokemon Center.

The Sooknee stopped just short of the entrance, pointing it's tiny blue finger at the transparent doors, motioning for Misty to take a look. Misty stepped ahead, avoiding the chill of the outside by not placing her foot on the motion detector that would open the doors. It was obviously dark, but she could clearly tell that there was a person outside. She struggled to take a closer look, but after only a few seconds she was positive it was Ash. He appeared to be talking to himself, and she could see something shining in his hand.

Admittedly, Ash had been acting strangely as of late, but why would he...

"Ahh! He's holding a knife!" Misty gasped out, her heart stopping. So many thoughts swirled through her head, but given the evidence, she couldn't help coming to a most horrible conclusion. 'This isn't possible. He wouldn't! He just wouldn't! Ash would be the last person to ever take his own life. This is just a dream, and I'm going to wake up.' Misty shook her head in frustration, but she quickly realized that Ash was beginning to move the knife upwards, heading straight for his throat. Not even she could deny the obvious.

Thinking fast, she turned to Sooknee who held a worried expression.

"Sooknee, listen closely, I want you to go wake up Nurse Joy, and Brock, and bring them outside. I'm going to try and talk to Ash."

"Sooknee!" the baby agreed immediately, looking very determined.

Misty's face held a small smile. "Why can't Ash see how much everyone cares for him..." She was obviously referring to Sooknee, who was quickly scampering off to go get help.

Misty braced herself for the confrontation, taking in a deep breath, and wiping away some stray tears that she was desperately trying to hold back.

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Ash's eyes were watery, and his hand was shaking, as he struggled to achieve his last goal. However, he suddenly was startled out of his, almost hypnotic state, by the sound of the automatic doors opening. He whirled around to find a limping, pajama-clad Misty making her way towards him. His heart caught in his throat at the sight of her eyes. She looked like she was about to break down in tears any second. Her eyes immediately darted to his hand, and the knife it was grasping. He looked down at the weapon, and then guiltily looked back at his former best friend. She knew...But how?...

She stopped just a few feet short of his position. Was she afraid of him?

"Ash, please, hear me out. Whatever problems you might be going through, I can tell you, that this is just not the answer. This wont solve anything. Bad situations are resolved by talking them out. If not with me, than with someone else, someone you trust, someone you care about," She spoke calmly, and softly, and most important, tenderly. "But please, don't end things like this."

The words sunk into Ash, and the ones that affected him the most were: "this wont solve anything". He couldn't have disagreed with that more. It was the reason for his decision. It would indeed, solve so much. Without him living in their world, he would be free. Free from things like this. Anger flooded through Ash as he stared at Misty. What a fool of him to think that this attempt would go unnoticed by them. She was being used again. She was sent to stop him. It was Misty, because they knew that she affected him the most. Well, not this time. Ash again raised the knife, heading for his throat. This time he'd-

"Ash Ketchum...," Misty screeched out, tears streaking her face, "I swear, if you go through with this I will never forgive you! I will never forgive you-taking the person I care about most away from me! Do you hear me!" Misty was bawling. She had closed the gap between her and Ash, and she was hugging him tightly.

Ash was beyond surprised. In all the years he's known her, not once has she ever given him a hug. He could feel her hearts racing. She was so frightened. He had scared her. Feeling her in his arms, shaking, he lost what little self-control he had, and gave in.

Misty could hear him crying as he hugged her back. The knife, however, was still gripped in his hand, and was pressing up against her. It sent chills up her spine. She suddenly unwrapped her hands from him, and backed up. Her eyes found his. They were filled with so much pain and...confusion. She could nearly feel his suffering. Her hand searched along his arm until finally coming to the cold sharp weapon. . Cautiously, she slipped the blade from his fingers, her eyes, never once leaving his.

Ash was unsure what was going on. How did things turn around so suddenly? Why did she seem so truthful, so...real?

"Everything is going to be okay now. It's all going to get better soon, I promise. We're going to help you."

Ash's heart froze. "We?"

...Everything went black.

Sooknee had used some kind of attack, but Nurse Joy and Brock, who had managed to sneak up behind Ash, were unsure what exactly had just taken place. They stood facing Misty, Ash lying unconscious on the floor, and Sooknee staring at his still body. The Pokemon's expression was unreadable.

Again, the doors to the Pokemon Center slid open, letting Pikachu run out and over to his friend. It had probably just woken up, and when discovering Ash and everyone else gone, became worried.

"Pikapi!" Pikachu nuzzled into Ash. Seeing his state, he immediately glared at Sooknee, growling protectively. Pikachu could feel when a Pokemon used an attack, although this time it was having difficulty identifying it.

"What do we do now?" the young nurse asked concerned, obviously unprepared to deal with such a situation.

"First we should take him inside, but I don't think he should stay at the Pokemon Center any longer. He is unstable. We have to take him some place where he feels safe." Brock was better than Misty at keeping his feelings for Ash concealed. But it was clear now that he still cared greatly for his old friend.

"I agree," Misty smiled at Brock, glad to see that he had not given up on the friendship.

"Take him away? Dr. Sonen will never agree to this. Ash is still the only one who seems to have any connection to Sooknee. He is adamant about keeping Ash around to help with the research."

"Don't worry, Nurse Joy. I have a place in mind where the Dr. could perform his research, and Ash will still be near enough to help out."

Nurse Joy was still unsure, but Brock had an idea of the place Misty was referring to.

"Pikapi...." Misty couldn't help but feel bad for Pikachu. He didn't deserve this. She bent down to stroke it's fur. "Pikachu, I am going to make it my mission to help Ash with whatever he is going through. We'll manage it together. Okay?" She lifted up the Pokemon's chin, petting it ever so slightly. Pikachu didn't care what Ash said about Misty. It could tell that she was truly caring, and it believed her wholeheartedly.

"Cha..."

Misty smile faded quickly when she realized that she was still holding the knife. If she was a Charizard she would have melted it away into nothing, but all she could do was throw it to the ground in disgust. She looked back at Ash, gently sweeping his hair away from his face. 'I wont leave you go this time...no matter what.'

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Ash had been running. He had lost track of the time, but when he had left the ruins, it was day, and now he was surrounded in darkness. It had also begun to rain, and Pikachu had taken shelter in Ash's shirt. He tried to keep his mind clear. He had to find a shelter for the night. He had run too deep into the woods and he knew he was lost. So much had happened. He was feeling so many things, but the most prominent emotion was sadness. He was beyond conflicted.

"Pikapi! Pika!" Pikachu peeked out of his shirt to point out the cave they were approaching. Ash was glad Pikachu was with him. He would have never noticed it, and would have probably ended up running all night long.

He made his way into the cave, cautiously checking to see if it was inhabited by any wild Pokemon. Pikachu sniffed at the air, giving a thumbs up to Ash, indicating that it was vacant.

Ash breathed a sigh of relief. He took the opportunity of setting up camp, to take his mind off of the days events. He mindlessly built a fire, calling out Cyndaquil to help ignite the wood he had found scattered nearby. He then lay out the Pokemon's food, and sat to watch them happily eat. Without realizing, he found himself envying them. He observed how carefree, and simple they were.

'I bet if one of them had experienced someone's death, they wouldn't be as upset as I am. Look at Pikachu. He barely seems affected at all, and he's the one who...Yeah! He did it, not me! Even if it was my father, which he probably isn't, Pikachu was the one responsible. It was his attack that did it. It was not my fault!'

Ash didn't notice that he begun breathing heavily. The fire-lit cave created shadows that made his face seem sinister. The Pokemon had stopped eating, as they looked at their master in concern. Ash's body was radiating an unusual feeling. One that didn't seem right with him.

"Pikapi?" Pikachu questioned worriedly, inching closer to Ash.

Ash's eyes flew to the electric rodent accusingly. "How could you have done that?!"

"Pika?!"

"Aren't you ashamed?! Do you feel anything?! How can you just act like nothing happened?! After what you've done...how-how do you..." Ash's eyes closed. He was so confused, so disheartened. "Are you like them? Are you bad?" His voice lowered considerably. He was practically whispering to himself. Unexpectedly, he felt something tickle his face. It was Pikachu's ear. He had climbed on Ash's lap, and it was pressing it's head against his chest, right over his heart.

This act caused Ash to look around at his Pokemon. They were frightened. The look in their eyes made Ash want to cry. How dare he. How dare he try to blame everything on Pikachu. Just because of one days events? Just because some stranger baked up some story, he was going to change his whole perspective-he was going to turn on his best friends? No! He had to trust in himself, and in his ideals. He had too-

"OOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!!" Ash felt indescribable pain shoot through his chest. He looked down to see Pikachu, who's face was drenched in hatred, ripping through his chest with his teeth. He was after his heart...

Ash jolted up. He was panting strongly. It seems his subconscious was responsible for twisting his memories.

"Pikapi!"

"Pikachu!" Ash cried out in joy as his friend jumped into his arms from it's position on his bed. Ash snuggled into his fur happily, glad to be out of the past. However, he then tried to remember what was going on before he went to sleep. 'I didn't go to sleep. Something else happened.' Ash was beginning to feel very...disturbed. The bed he was in was exceedingly familiar.

"Pikachu, where are we?"

Pikachu's ears flattened. He looked guilt-ridden as he avoided Ash's question.

Ash began to look around the room he was in. The covers he was under were decorated with Pokeballs. On the floor lay a Snorlax pillow. A Zubat mobile hung from the ceiling, and a mended Pidgeotto alarm clock sat by the bed. Ash's face held a blank expression. Pikachu was afraid he had stopped breathing.

Just then the door flew open.

"Sweety! You're awake, how wonderful! I told everyone you'll be better in no time. Mommy knows best, after all. So how is my little hero feeling?"

The overly cheerful, loving, caring voice of the most dreaded person on the planet seeped through Ash's ears. He was home.

"I wish I was still asleep."

A/N: Wow, it's been so long since I updated this. I hope people are still reading. ^^;;; Sorry for the long absence from this story. I've had no will to write for it and I apologize profusely for that, because it's unfair to you guys who are interested in this story, and I just left you hanging. Anyway, now that summer's here, and I'll be having more time and will to write, hopefully I'll be updating this more frequently again. I hope this chapter made up for the long wait. I tried to make it as "entertaining" as I could.

Next Chapter: More on Ash's dream(as usual). We find out about the set up at Pallet, and we learn a bit why Ash isn't too happy about being home. I'll also try and start up the AAMRN portion of this story, because Misty is about to get a whole lot more important.

P.S. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed before, and is still reading and reviewing. You people are what inspire and encourage me to continue writing. So thank you so much. ^____^