A/N: I know what you’re thinking: WHY IN THE BLOODY SHIT ARE YOU STILL WRITING THIS TEXTUAL MONSTROSITY!!??? To answer your question: we never heard how the cast felt about being publicly humiliated. So prepare for some long and boring interviews.
Disclaimery Goodness: Blah blah blah I don’t own Pokemon blah blah blah.
* * * * ASH * * * *
MEGAMANZERO: So, Ash? What did you think of my little fic?
ASH: I hate you.
MEGAMANZERO: Yes, I’m not too fond of you, either, but give me a serious answer.
ASH: Fine, I seriously hate you.
MEGAMANZERO: Well met, my good man. I suppose you’ll want to star in any of my other fics?
ASH: Go to hell.
MEGAMANZERO: Please, ladies first.
ASH: Fuck you.
MEGAMANZERO: Splendid. Moving on to the next question: how did you feel about your overall role in my fic?
ASH: I hated it with a passion reserved for the black plague.
MEGAMANZERO: Uh huh. Well, at least you gave me a straight answer. Too bad that’s the only STRAIGHT thing about you. And what did you think of the other actors? Did you enjoy working with them?
ASH: I think that they should do the world a favor and jump off a bridge.
MEGAMANZERO: Well aren’t YOU Mr. Daisies-and-Sunshine?
ASH: What kind of question is that?
MEGAMANZERO: That wasn’t on my note cards. It’s called “improv”, you bitter son of a bitch.
ASH: YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME!!??
MEGAMANZERO: SURE, ORIGINAL RECIPE, PLEASE!!!
FFZZZTT!!! We seem to be experiencing some technical difficulties, folks.
CAMERA MAN: WELL ISN’T THAT THE BIGGEST FUCKING UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY!!?? DUDE, THEY’VE GONE DRAGONBALL Z IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SET!!!!!
MEGAMANZERO: KA ME HA ME HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
ASH: FINAAAAAAAAAAAL FLASH!!!!!
* * * * MISTY * * * *
MEGAMANZERO: So, Misty? How are you doing today?
MISTY: Just peachy and ----wait, what’s with the bandage across your head? And why is half the room charred black??
MEGAMANZERO: Well, it seems like Ash wasn’t as cooperative as I’d thought he’d be.
MISTY: I’ll say. He came out looking half dead!
MEGAMANZERO: I’d say he’s a little more than half dead, Misty, but he knew what he was getting into when he went up against martial artist extraordinaire MegamanZero.
MISTY: Rrrrriiight. Um...aren’t you gonna ask me more questions?
MEGAMANZERO: Oh, right, silly me. Next question: what did you think of my little fic?
MISTY: Even now I still question your sanity.
MEGAMANZERO: Who doesn’t? Now, next question: would you be willing to star in any of my other fics?
MISTY: Um...hard to say. I’d be willing to star in any of your fics so long as you’re not stoned off your ass when you write them.
MEGAMANZERO: *looks taken aback* What? Misty, I’m shocked!!! How could you think I was stoned when I wrote this fic! Everybody knows I was hammered like a nail!! Really, the very idea...
MISTY: Um…yeah...ah...any other questions?
MEGAMANZERO: Ah, yes, the questions. How did you feel about your overall role in my fic?
MISTY: First off, I’d like to say that I am EXTREMELY INSULTED that you would ever portray me as some horny, ditsy idiot!! How could you do such a thing?? I’m a human being with human feelings!
MEGAMANZERO: No, you’re not. You’re just ink character drawn on paper by some pervert that has a weird fetish for busty twelve year olds that look four years older than they actually are.
MISTY: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!!??
MEGAMANZERO: I don’t recall cotton ever being in your ears. Why don’t you scroll up and read it again? You CAN read, right? Jeez, I thought red heads were supposed to be SMARTER than blondes.
MISTY: YOU ASSHOLE!!! NOW YER GONNA GET IT!!!! *pulls out her mallet*
MEGAMANZERO: *sigh* Will ANY of my interviews not end up in violence?
MISTY: HEY!!! I’m not through with you!!!!
* * * * BROCK * * * *
MEGAMANZERO: Why, hello, Brock, how are you today?
BROCK: THE BROCK IS FEELING JUST FINE, TINY INTERVIEWER!
MEGAMANZERO: Um, Brock? We’re not shooting “Not Another Pokemon Spoof!” anymore; you can get out of character now.
BROCK: THE BROCK HASN’T THE FAINTEST IDEA OF WHAT YOU SPEAK!
MEGAMANZERO: O...k. I’ll just play along then. So, Brock, what did you think of my little fic?
BROCK: THE BROCK THINKS THAT IT KICKED ROOTY POO CANDY-COATED CANDY ASS!!!
MEGAMANZERO: Why, thank you, Brock. Coming from a muscle-bound meat wad, that’s pretty flattering.
BROCK: THE BROCK WELCOMES YOU.
MEGAMANZERO: Ok, next question: how would you feel about starring in any of my other fics?
BROCK: THE BROCK WOULD JUST JUMP AT THE CHANCE TO APPEAR IN A PIECE OF LITERATURE WOVEN TOGETHER BY A FINE AUTHOR SUCH AS YOU.
MEGAMANZERO: I’m very touched, Brock. Oh, and might I add that your fly is open?
BROCK: WHA??? THE BROCK SHALL CORRECT THE FLAW IN HIS APPEARANCE!!! AH, WAITAMINUTE. MY FLY ISN’T OPEN! I’M WEARING SPANDEX!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, THE BROCK PRAISES YOUR GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR.
MEGAMANZERO: No, Brock, your fly is really open; your crotch area is torn!!
BROCK: *checks his crotch* WHA?? HA...oh my...
CAMERA MAN: Dude!!! It looks like a baby carrot between two peas!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
BROCK: THIS SHALL NOT STAND! THE BROCK SHALL KICK YOUR CANDY ASS!!!!!
CAMERA MAN: Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
BROCK: THIS IS THE PENALTY FOR INSULTING THE BROCK’S EQUIPMENT!! *begins to pummel camera man*
MEGAMANZERO: Well, once again I have not been able to ask all of my questions due to the fact that my guest has an IQ below room temperature. Next up, we have Tracy’s thoughts! Tune in next week!
BROCK: AND NOW FOR MY FLATULENT JUSTICE MOVE!!!!
CAMERA MAN: OH GOD, KILL ME NOW!!!! My nose hairs!! They’re BURNING!!!!
TRACY: I’ve gotta get a sketch of this!!!
* * * * TRACY * * * *
MEGAMANZERO: So, Tracy, how are you this afternoon?
TRACY: Just fine, if you don’t count the entire world hating me and having no reason to get up in the morning.
MEGAMANZERO: Uh...yeah. What did you think of my little fic?
TRACY: I think that I should’ve committed suicide years ago.
MEGAMANZERO: Tracy, we agree with you, but could you please stay on topic?
TRACY: What’s the point? *sniff* It’s not like my opinion matters anyway.
MEGAMANZERO: This is getting us nowhere, so we’re moving on to the next question. Would you consider starring in any of my other fics?
TRACY: Anything to give my pathetic, loathsome life some meaning.
MEGAMANZERO: I see. And how did you feel about your overall role in this fic.
TRACY: Personally, I liked that fact that you made me speak nothing but nonsense. It is symbolic of the political and media jargon that we must intake everyday. It also symbolizes how lost we are, and how much the world doesn’t make sense.
MEGAMANZERO: Very poetic, Tracy. However, we’re out of time.
TRACY: Out of...time?? You mean...oh no...IT’S THE APOCALYPSE!!!!!!
MEGAMANZERO: No, Tracy, I mean it’s time for my massage.
TRACY: I’M NOT READY FOR THE END!!! WHAT DO I DO!!?? JESUS, ALLAH, BUDDHA, SATAN, I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!
MEGAMANZERO: Ugh. SECURITY!!!
*BLAM*
MEGAMANZERO: Very good, guard. But, did you have to kill him??
SECURITY: Yes.
MEGAMANZERO: Ah. Are you sure?
SECURITY: Yes.
MEGAMANZERO: Well, alright then. Who wants margaritas!!!??
CREW: WE DOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
* * * *
~fin~ (for real, this time)