Story Recap: So…The Brock has been shot, Ash ate some “magic” pie, and the Rocket Gang are…um…stoned…on paprika…yeah…oh, and Misty is horny. Very horny.
Oh my god!!! *gasps* WHERE THE HELL IS MY GIANT FOAM FINGER OF HOLINESS!!!??

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, for if I did, Pokemon would be rated MA and moved to Adult Swim. O_o However, I DO own Dung Pile City and the Giant Foam Finger of Holiness.

Yet Another Stupid Warning: Expectant mothers, people who suffer from epileptic seizures, and televangelists should not partake in the reading of this crap. Rated PG-13 for blatant use of language and insane evilness that hurts little children.

* * * *

(Tracy is holding the Giant Foam Finger of Holiness in his hands, drooling, obviously drunk in his own power.)

TRACY: With these digits of Holy Goodness, I will sleet nasty evillosity for all of the chickens! Obey the cheese!

ANNOUNCER GUY: Oh no! Tracy has gotten hold of MegamanZero’s Giant Foam Finger of Holiness! What will become of our heroes? What evil, ridiculous deeds does the maniacal fruitball have in store for them? And why can’t I get a date?

TRACY: I splat you with a thousand poopies!!!! Look at me wiggle my digits of doom!! May a gaggle of penguins be shoved up your urethra!

(Like magic, the announcer is hit with a thousand splats of feces followed by a gaggle of penguins getting shoved in pee pee hole.) o_O

RANDOM GUY IN AUDIENCE: Wow. You know, if you listen real close, Tracy is actually starting to make sense.

TRACY: Blarf!! I blarf you all to Doomy Poopsville!! I’m wiggling my fingers!! Witness my digital motions!! I urinate on thee!

(The guy in the audience has just turned into a giant albino flea.)

* * * *

(Meanwhile, back under your bed…erm…THE TOP SECRET TEAM ROCKET BASE OF EVILNESS, the bad guys have…been reanimated… and are…still stoned…on paprika…yeah…what a sight…)

JAMES: (singing) * MY LONLINESS…IS KILLING ME…I MUST CONFESS…I STILL BELIEVE… *

GIOVANNI: (rapping) I got my twin glock forties, cocked back/Me and my homies, so drop that/We rollin’ on twenties, with the top back/So much money you can’t stop that/

JAMES: …HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE TIME! (A/N: -_______________-)

GIOVANNI: What in da world is in dat BAG, whatchoo got in dat BAG!?

(We here the sound of a record scratching to a halt as the DEA burst in.)

DEA AGENT: Alright, potheads! The jig is up! I get paid for saying that. But on a more serious note, YOU’RE ALL UNDER ARREST. Show us where your potty stash of weedy goodness is, you pot-smoking...POTHEADS!!

GIOVANNI: Oh no sir. This isn’t marijuana. This is only a mild form of paprika wrapped in a square of toilet paper and tied together with pieces of twine.

DEA AGENT: WHAT!? Well, I guess that isn’t illegal, so you guys are off the hook.

BOTH: Whoo hoo!

DEA AGENT: Besides, I’m not even a DEA agent.

JAMES: You’re not?

DEA AGENT: No, I’m with the tour group. BUT I DID STAY AT A HOLIDAY INN EXPRESS LAST NIGHT!

GIOVANNI: o_O

DEA AGENT…er…TOURIST: Um…can I have some of that paprika?

GIOVANNI: Knock yourself out. (points to an unconscious Jessie) Literally.

JESSIE: Zzzzzzzzzzz…

TOURIST: Yippie! (takes a drag) Suddenly…I feel one with the universe…and have the strange craving for Doritos and Easter peeps…Zzzzzzzzzzzz…

GIOVANNI: Hmm…guess some people just don’t have the lungs for it. Now where were we, Jimmy boy? (takes a drag) Oh yeah, hee hee hee… (begins rapping again) Who’s yo HOUSEkeeper and whatchoo keep in dat HOUSE?

JAMES: WHAT A GIRL WANTS…WHAT A GIRL NEEDS…

(We see the windows shattering. God help us)

* * * *

(we now see me, your author, slumped up by a tree looking weak)

MEGAMANZERO: My power source…stolen…strength…fading… ;_;

(a very horny Misty and a traumatized Ash appear on the scene, Brock is missing)

MISTY: Oh my God…it’s…God!!!! (of the fic, you crazy Christian meanyheads XP)

ASH: o_O (is still too traumatized to speak)

MISTY: Ash! Aren’t you gonna help???

ASH: o_O Have…been…molested…by Misty…must…kill…self… (grabs a noose from his pocket)

MISTY: OH NO YOU DON’T!! (grabs the noose)

ASH: ;_; NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO SEE MY OWN REFLECTION!!!!!! (tries to claw his own eyes out)

MISTY: You know what they say, “No noose is good noose!” ^_^

AUDIENCE GUY: BAD PUN ALERT!!!!!

MISTY: Whatever. MEGSY!!!! What happened to you!!! (runs over to MegamanZero)

MEGAMANZERO: Source of power…taken…by…by…by…

MISTY: By who!?

MEGAMANZERO: Come…closer… (motions with his finger)

MISTY: Um…ok…

MEGAMANZERO: (cups his hand in her ear, whispers) Can you keep a secret?

MISTY: (lovingly)  Of course I can.

MEGMANZERO: (hand still cupped to her ear for whispering purposes…or not) MY GIANT FOAM FINGER OF HOLINESS WAS STOLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Misty then reels back clutching her ear, which has turned a bright red)

MEGMANZERO: (props up, looking just peachy) Oh yeah, remind me to do something nasty to you for calling me Megsy again.

MISTY: What do you mean, “stolen”?

MEGAMANZERO: Exactly what I said, genius. Stolen. As in it is not in my possession anymore. As in somebody has taken a personal belonging from me against my will. As in---

MISTY: Whoa, easy there, Mojo Jojo.

MEGAMANZERO: But do you know who took it??

MISTY: Who? Don’t tell me it was the mailman.

MEGMANZERO: -_- NO. IT WAS TRACY!!!!!

MISTY: Big deal. -_-

MEGMANZERO: The universe as we know it will cease to exist!!!!!

MISTY: (like Nelson from the Simpsons) Ha Ha.

MEGAMANZERO: He’ll make us all his papery slaves!!!

MISTY: Oohhh, cooool. Will there be tie-up games involved??

MEGAMANZERO: …………………………..HE’LL MAKE ASH GAY AGAIN!!!!!

MISTY: O______________________o NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *gasp* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Misty grabs Ash and MegamanZero)

MISTY: To the Buttcave, Robin!

ASH AND MEGAMANZERO: o_O

MISTY: I mean, uh…the BATCAVE!!! Um…yeah…

(and they speed off)

ASH: Could somebody please shoot me???

MISTY: No time for nonsense, Hotlips!!! We must save your sexuality!!!

ASH: If somebody could shoot me right now that would be great. And my name is not Robin, bitch. Or Hotlips. >_<

MISTY: Hee hee hee! Ashy-kun, you’re so silly! ^_^

ASH: O_o

MEGMANZERO: O_o

SADDAM HUSEIN: O_o

GOD: O_o

THE DEVIL: O_o

MAILMAN: O_o

GUY WITH FREAKY EYES: *_$

SMILEY FACE: ^_____________^

FF.NET STAFF: WARNING, DUE TO THE HIGH LEVELS OF O_o’s, WE HERE AT FANFICTION.NET HAVE DECIDED TO FLOG MEGAMANZERO WITH A LEATHER WHIP.

MEGAMANZERO: Flog me with a leather whip??? Hee hee hee, you guys are so naughty. ^_____^

FF.NET STAFF: Um…………..rrrrrrrrriiiiiight…… O_o

* * * *

(Meanwhile, Tracy is on an EVIL RAMPAGE!!!)

TRACY: WIGGLY NUTS!!! THE DUCKS FLY AT MIDNIGHT!! LOOK UP MY BUTT AND SEE YOUR FUTURE!!!

TOWNSPEOPLE: AAAHHH!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

TRACY: Do not prance away like the scaly platypuses you speak to every warm Christmas morning!! Come and poop in my treehouse!!! I’m coagulating sour onions and curdled Jell-O and finely powdered moose!

TOWNSPEOPLE: Uhh…RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TRACY: THAT’S IT! YOU’VE ANGERED THE TAFFY FOR THE LAST TIC-TAC!!! ATTACK OF THE CROTCHES!!! GET YOUR SOGGY POTATO OFF MY IRONING BOARD!!! I MOLEST THEE WITH MY THRUST-OF-A-THOUSAND-PINECONES!!!!!

(Tracy continues with his carnage and doom)

* * * *

(Our heroes arrive on the scene, Tracy has turned all of Dungpile City into pieces of hard candy. A/N: Very Majin Buu style ;).)

MISTY: Tracy!!!! We’re here to put an end to your rampage of doom!!!! Hee hee hee, I get cookie for saying that. ^_^

TRACY: What’s this??? An angry eggplant here to split my desktop into three cupcakes??

MISTY: Ummmm…yeah…in any case, we’re gonna stop you now!!! Hee hee hee, I get a cookie for saying that, too! ^_^

MEGAMANZERO: Dammit, there goes my dessert.

MISTY: COME ON GUYS!! WHO’S WITH ME!!!!

MEGAMANZERO: You owe two cookies for this. -_-

ASH: *is banging his head on the pavement, trying to split it open*

MISTY: Hey, stop that, Sexpot!!! *pulls him away*

ASH: NOOOOO!!!!! I DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO LOOK AT YOUR HIDEOUS FACE AGAIN!!!!! *again, he tries to claw his own eyes out*

MISTY: Hee hee hee, I love you too, sweetie. ^_^

MEGAMANZERO: Um…guys…?

(Tracy waves the Giant Foam Finger of Holiness)

ALL: Shit. -_-

(POOF!!!! Our three heroes have turned into garden gnomes.)

TRACY: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…………………..

(Two days later)

TRACY: …………HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
*yoink*

(But what’s this!!! It appears that TEAM ROCKET is on the scene and have just sucked the Giant Foam Finger of Holiness off Tracy’s hand!!!!

TRACY: BOOGERS!!!! MY SOURCE OF NOODLES HAS BEEN URINATED OFF MY ACNE!!!! MOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

GIOVANNI: That’s what happens when you spend TWO FRICKIN DAYS laughing like a frickin………..FRICK!!!!!

JESSE: Oh, gooooooooooooood use of vocabulary there, boss. -_-

GIOVANNI: Well…in any case, we’ve finally got Pikachu!!!!!

JESSE: Um…sir? That’s not Pikachu. That’s a foam finger that says “We’re #1 at #2 business”. -_-

GIOVANNI: Why by frickin Joe, you’re right! I was wondering why he kept giving me the finger. Screw THIS piece of crap!!

(He throws the finger at one of the garden gnomes)

MEGAMANZERO: I’M FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! ^_______^

(With an expert wave of the finger (A/N: Hey, YOU try typing “Giant Foam Finger of Holiness” over and over -_-) everything goes back to normal)

MISTY: I’m normal again!!!!!!! ^_____________^

ASH: Hah…wha…? Oh. Shit, I’m still alive. -_- ;_;

MISTY: Yay, Ashy-kun you’re okay…and stuff!!! ^_______^

(she gives Ash a GIGANTIC hug)

ASH: >_<

MISTY: ^_^

THE REST: O_o

MEGAMANZERO: *gives Tracy evil eyes* And as punishment, Tracy, I give you the most horrifying punishment of all.

TRACY: Potatoes…O_O

(MegamanZero waves his finger)

TRACY: Hey!!! What in the world did you do to me!!? Wha…waitamoment…NOOOO! I actually make SENSE NOW!!! I HAVE NO VALID REASON TO LIVE!!!!!!! >O< *shoots himself*

ALL: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! ^__________________^

(And so they had a party…and stuff…the end…)

BROCK: HEY!!!!!! DON’T TELL ME YOU FORGOT ABOUT THE BROCK!!!!!!!!

ALL: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BROCK: Eep. O_o

~fin~