Disclaimer: I don't own Romeo and Juliet. Shakespeare does. I also don't own Pokemon, unfortunately.
A/N: A product of my boredom. Enjoy.
Romeo and Juliet: Pokemon Style!
ACT 1
in which there is
casting
(All seem to be floating in space because I'm to lazy to think of a background.)
Prof. Oak: This year, for no apparent reason, we're all doing a play of Romeo
and Juliet.
Ash: Um...what?
Prof. Oak (exasperated): Everyone is performing Romeo and Juliet. Oh no, my
cookies are burning! (he exits)
Drew: And why would we do that?
May: He just said! For no apparent reason!
Brock: I'll be Romeo!
Misty (laughing): Brock, if you're Romeo, nobody's going to want to be Juliet.
Ash: I'M Romeo! May can be Juliet!
May: I'll only be Juliet if Drew's Romeo.
Drew (chokes): I'm not going to be your Romeo!
Misty: It's settled then. I'll be Juliet and Ash can be Romeo.
Ash: You will NOT be Juliet! (grabs Jessie out of thin air) Jessie can be
Juliet!
Jessie: Okay. Who's Romeo?
Ash and Brock together: Me.
Jessie. Eep! I'm not going to be Juliet if either of you two are Romeo!
James (appears out of nowhere, wearing blonde wig): I'm Juliet!
(All sweatdrop)
Jessie: No, I'M Juliet!
Misty: I'M Juliet!
May: If Drew won't be Romeo, I won't be Juliet.
Ash: Yes you will!
Brock (confused): I thought you wanted Jessie to be Juliet!
(piano falls from the sky and squishes Brock)
Brock (in muffled voice): I'm okay!
William Shakespeare (who has just sprang out of the ground): A rose by any other
name -
Ash: Shut up, you.
(Misty hits Shakespeare with her mallet. He disappears.)
Misty: Now, where were we?
May: Let's draw straws!
All: HEYEAH!
(all draw straws)
Drew: Oh, no. I got Romeo.
May: YESS!
Drew: Don't tell me...
May (in a sing-song voice): I got Julie-et!!
(Drew groans)
Misty: Okaaay...I'm Mercutio.
Ash: I'm Benovovovovolioio.
Misty (whacks Ash with her mallet): It's Benvolio, you idiot.
Jessie (grumbling): I'm Gregory...
James: And I'm Sampson. Weird name.
Brock (from under piano): Who am I?
Ash: You can be Teebolt.
May: You mean Tybalt.
Misty: What about all the other characters?
(Kanto Gym Leaders enter)
Erika: We'll be Chorus!
(Gary enters)
Gary: I'll be Escalus, Prince of Verona!
Ash (sulking): He ALWAYS gets to be the prince!
(Richie enters)
Richie: I wanna be someone!
Drew: You be Paris.
Richie (whining): Paris is a girl's name!
Drew: Yeah, well for some odd reason Shakespeare saw fit to give a boy the name
of a girl.
(Richie sulks)
(Liza and Tate enter)
Liza: I'll be Montague.
Tate: I'll be Capulet.
Ash (to Liza): You do know Montague is a man?
(Liza shrugs)
(Wallace and Juan both enter, elbowing each other furiously.)
Wallace: I'll be the nameless old man!
Juan: No, I'LL be the nameless old man!
Misty: You can both be the nameless old man, now shut up!
(Wallace and Juan sulk)
(Prof. Oak comes back, holding a plate of cookies)
Oak: My cookies are done!
Brock (from under piano): Well yippee.
(Prof. Elm enters)
May (to Elm and Oak): You two can be Laurence and John.
(Elm and Oak look confused)
(Flannery and Winona enter, gossiping)
Winona: And then I was like, no! And she was like, uh, yaaa!
Flannery: And then?
Winona: And then I was like, omigawd, you're like, such a skank.
Flannery: And then?
Winona: And then she was like, uh! And I was like -
Jessie: You two be Balthasar and Abram.
Winona and Flannery: What, evaa!
Winona: And then she was like...
(Brawly enters)
Brawly: Yo ma peeps!
Ash: Brawly, you can be Peter.
Brawly: Fo'shizzle!
(Everyone sweatdrops)
(Bugsy enters)
Misty (to Bugsy): You be the Apothecary!
Bugsy: What's an acothepry?
Misty: God knows.
(Three Mexican musicians fall from the sky and start playing mandolins and
banjos and singing random Mexican songs)
(Drew falls over in surprise)
May: Well there's our three musicians.
(Officer Jenny enters)
(Brock produces bunch of flowers from under piano)
Brock: Jenny my love!
Jenny: Why is Brock under a piano?
Misty: It fell on him, Officer.
Jenny: Oh.
Ash: Hey, Officer, you be Officer!
Jenny: Um...okay...
(Nurse Joy enters)
(Brock produces another bunch of flowers from under piano)
Brock: Joy my love!
Joy: Why is Brock under a piano?
May: It fell on him, Nurse.
Joy: Oh.
Drew: Hey, Nurse, you be Nurse!
Winona: What-EVAAA!
Drew: I wasn't talking to you.
Winona: Get a job, yo.
(All sweatdrop as Winona and Flannery go back to gossipping)
(About three million random people enter)
Ash: And there's our citizens.
Oak: Who wants cookies?
Brawly: Fo'shizzle!
(all exit, eating cookies)