A/N: ...does anyone actually read these?
May is such a drama queen, lolz. I wrote this a while ago, and now I look back over it and think, my god, if anybody behaved that childishly in real life, they'd go nowhere. And believe me, people do behave that childishly.

Disclaimer: Not that anyone cares, but I don't own Pokemon.

~ ~ ~

I went because you said you'd be there
A box of candy
Smoke in your hair
Explain it to me again and again
Like I care
Because love just leaves you bruised
- Ben Folds

Losing Grip
three: roses and feelings

I didn't reply. All I could hear was Max's words, ringing in my ears, fizzing in my brain, bouncing and echoing around my mind.

in love with her in love with her in love with her in love with her in love...

"Drew!" said Max impatiently. "What do you propose we do? I can see no way in hell out of this mess you've made."

I stared down at him. "Er..."

He sighed and shook his head, his shaggy fringe bouncing around his forehead. "Hopeless! You're hopeless!" He stepped towards me, arms crossed, frowning fiercely. "Look, this won't resolve itself. What do you think we'll do? You can't just march up to her and apologise. What would she say? That wouldn't fix this."

"Err..."

"Well?" he demanded. "What?"

"Well..." I scratched the back of my head. "I should just show her I really care."

"You just don't get it, do you?" asked Max angrily. "You've crushed her. The most heartfelt apology you could think of wouldn't penetrate her now. I don't know what you can do. I'm nine. Why on earth did you ask me for help?"

It was my turn to sigh. "Because I don't know what to do. I feel like an idiot."

"That's because you ARE an idiot," he said shortly, and, scrawny arms crossed, he spun on his heel and walked briskly away. I didn't bother following him. He was right. What would he do? Apologise to her for me? I really was hopeless.

~ ~ ~

When Ash and May got back to the Centre, Brock was waiting anxiously for them and Max was stomping moodily around slamming doors and snapping at people whenever they tried to talk to him. There was also an envelope hanging from the doorknob. May's name was scrawled in thin, spiky writing on it. She took it and thanked Ash quietly with a hug, and then retreated to a bench outside to read it. Silently, face impassive, she neatly tore it open. The first thing that fell out was something that surprised her.

It had soft, moist petals and delicate thorns; it was a deep rich red. Her heart jumped into her throat, tears sprang to her eyes, she threw the letter to the ground and tore the petals from the rose. Several times, her fingers were pricked. The tiny wounds stung painfully and blood, the same colour as the shredded petals that lay scattered around her, welled up and dropped onto the green grass with little splashes.

With a sob, she tore the stem apart, cutting her palms so that there were dots and lines of deep crimson all along her gloves. It hurt more than anybody would have expected; but then maybe she was just being dramatic. Then she turned and ran straight up to their room, where she found Ash, who asked what was in the envelope, why she was crying and then, alarmed, what had happened to her hands. She said nothing but flung her arms around him and broke down in tears.

Drops of red dotted the floor.

Inside the letter, which she had neglected to read, was a single word, that would have made her cry even harder had she seen it. The word was as follows:

Sorry

~ ~ ~

Ash forced May off him with difficulty. "Calm down," he told her, not unkindly. "What happened?"

"R-rose," choked May, and stared down at her blood-stained gloves.

Ash stared too. "A rose?" The word wandered dispiritedly across his mind, searching for something to connect with. "You found a rose?"

May shook her head and let out a strangled sob.

Ash frowned, took May's wrists and examined her hands. "Take off your gloves," he instructed her. May obediently peeled off the soaked, crimson gloves, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her hands were bleeding badly. "What in the world happened?" asked Ash, panicking slightly.

"The rose pricked me," she said vaguely, chewing her lip in pain. Whether the pain was in her hands or her heart, Ash couldn't tell. He knew that in the state she was in, he'd get no more sense out of her, so he took her down to Nurse Joy.

"Oh, my!" gasped Nurse Joy. "Those are some nasty cuts, May. What happened?" She cleaned the cuts and dabbed on some antiseptic.

"Thorns," murmured May.

Joy frowned. "Thorns?"

"She's in a bit of a state," said Ash. "Something that happened after the contest. She isn't making much sense."

Joy nodded, persisting with her concerned frown, and bandaged May's hands. "Well, hope it resolves itself, May. Congratulations on the contest, by the way."

May nodded distantly, shaking with suppressed sobs, her eyes faraway and deep in thought.

"Come on, then," said Ash slowly, as if not quite sure what to do with her. May followed him back up the stairs to the room that Ash, Brock, May and Max were all sharing. Max and Brock had obviously gone out, but Pikachu was still there.

"Pika?" It bounded up to May, pawing anxiously at the ground.

"She pricked herself on a rose," said Ash to Pikachu, sitting May down on a bed. He studied her for a minute. Her eyes were watery and red, her lip trembling, her face looked as if it was caught between being flushed and pale and couldn't decide which to be. She was a picture of absolute despair, of giving up being happy. All this because of Drew! Ash couldn't understand why she loved him so much. He'd never done anything for her before. "May."

May looked up, her eyes shining with tears.

"May, what happened? You can hardly talk any more. Was it that traumatic?"

May took a deep breath and laughed shakily. "I guess not. I'm being a drama queen. It's just...he thinks he can fix it just like that. He's destroyed it and it's gone. He didn't care before. Why should he care now?"

Ash prompted her to keep talking with a 'mmm'. Holding back another sob, she said in a voice wobbling with tears, "He said before that it was gone. There was nothing left. And he meant it, I know he did!" she said with a sudden fierceness. "And now he's sorry and he wants it back again. He wants me and my friendship back again, after he's just destroyed it, just like that, just like it was something little, that didn't matter. I want his friendship back too. But it isn't there for me to take. He took it away and his rose hasn't given it back. It's gone now and he can't get it back. I can't get it back. It's gone. Gone. Nothing left." The passion in her voice faded away. Her last four syllables were eerily hollow and empty, like a ghost of real talking. Like an echo. "How could he do this to me?!?!" she screamed suddenly, but her words and face were still completely detached and hollow. It was a haunting sight, May screaming at the top of her lungs, her eyes wide and staring, her voice empty of emotion. "How could he? He was everything to me, EVERYTHING!!!!" And with this last outburst, her face crumpled and she was weeping again, and once again Ash put his arms around her, hushing her and talking to her quietly while she cried.