Summary: All Misty wants is a normal
relationship. It seems like every other woman in the world is off with their
perfect boyfriends making mind-blowing love in libraries, parks, the poultry
aisle in the supermarket, etc, etc. However, the first time she persuades Ash
to try a little al-fresco loving, they get snapped by the paparazzi. So
horrified is Ash by the sight of his captured in mid-motion bare bottom gracing
the front of every tabloid from here to Hoenn that he immediately slaps a ban
on everything you could ever consider outside the norms of sex. Misty,
understandably a little aggravated by this, finally convinces him that all they
need is to take a frisky holiday, incognito, so no one will recognise him...
PRICKLY
HEAT
(1)
()()()()()()()()()()
Her red plastic shopping
basket full of supplies, Misty ran back over her mental shopping list one more
time. Satisfied she had all that was needed at home she turned and shuffled
towards the checkout. As she passed the magazine and newspaper racks, it
occurred to her that the new issue of Ash’s Trainer magazine should be out.
Misty turned her attention to them, skimming over the many glossy covers.
She stopped.
That bum was familiar.
()()()()()()()()()()
Ash sighed. After three
years in this office, you’d think he’d be used to the glaring emptiness, the
blinding glass walls, the complete and total lack of anything to do four days
out of five. He had used to stave off boredom by playing with the sand in the
little tray that had come with the desk, but his secretary had taken it off him
after complaints from the cleaners.
Ash sunk low across the
polished ebony desk and shot an accusing glare up at his computer screen, as if
blaming it for his boredom. Still in his slumped form, he reached across for
his mouse and moved it quickly, breaking the computer out of screensaver mode.
Having never really got on
with Solitaire, Ash bypassed the games folder and opened Internet Explorer with
a deft double click. Ash-Ketchum.com loaded instantly; Ash had managed to
persuade his friends that it was League regulation that it be his home-page,
when secretly it was a vain indulgence. Ash also found it quite amusing; one
day he intended to meet whomever webmastered ‘his’ site and inform him of a few
glaring omissions and bizarre additions. "Ash Ketchum rumoured to be
favourite for the role of Legolas in big-screen adaptation of Tolkein’s ‘Lord
of the Rings’ trilogy" was one such example of the website knowing
details that Ash himself did not.
Skipping the splash page
java image, Ash found himself on the news page. A bold headline proclaimed: Ketchum
Kaught On Kamera. Ash leant forward curiously as the thumbnail picture that
would take him to the full story loaded painfully slowly. A pale curve appeared
against a dark background. Ash’s eyes narrowed.
That bum was familiar.
()()()()()()()()()()
Misty struggled through
the door of the Viridian townhouse, her arms weighed down each with a plastic
bag of produce and a stack of newspapers clutched to her chest. Flippant in her
state of bewilderment she dumped the bags on the kitchen floor before returning
to where she had left the papers on the coffee table. She grabbed the top one
and stared pale-faced at the grainy yet explicitly clear black and white
photograph gracing the front page. Her eyes flickered to the headline.
League Champ caught
with his pants down.
Wincing Misty turned to
the full story on page seven.
Young League Champion
Ashton Ketchum (22) has proved himself to be a man of the world despite his
decidedly back-water origins. This singular picture (left) was taken by a
freelance celebrity photographer Monday night, at around 2.30am on the
outskirts of Viridian Forest. The snap clearly shows Ketchum engaging in sexual
intercourse with an as-of-now mystery lady.
Ketchum has been dating
childhood friend and Cerulean GymLeader Misty Waterflower (23) for the past
four years and they share a home together in uptown Viridian City. However, due
to the positioning of Ketchum’s arms the female cannot be identified as Ms
Waterflower and the photographer did not identify her as such.
Misty glanced again at the
offending photo. Sure enough, Ash’s supporting arms were blocking out the vast
majority of his partner’s facial features. Misty scowled. It was a good thing
she knew very well that the female was her, or Ash would definitely hear about
it.
Ketchum has taken care
to present a clean image, the article continued, steering clear of drugs and alcohol,
understanding how delicate his position as an idol is. However, acts of
indecency such as this will have raised a few eyebrows and Ketchum could lose
much of his appeal if this event is proved to be also an act of infidelity.
"Acts of
indecency," Misty
huffed to herself, face stern as she skimmed over the remainder of the article.
"It was just a bit of fun…" Her voice trailed off as she
remembered Ash’s reluctance and worry when she had brought up the idea of
out-door sex. "He’s gonna be mad…" she murmured.
"You’re damn right
I’m mad." Misty
jumped at the sound of Ash’s weary voice as he flopped down on the sofa next to
her. "I had to leave," he said, in reply to her unspoken
question. "The whole place is in uproar. There hasn’t been this much
gossip since Bruno came out." Ash rubbed his temples with one hand as
he reached for Misty with his other arm. "You remember that girl’s you
right?" he asked, trying to keep the worry from his voice.
"Of course I do,
idiot."
"Good," Ash sighed, relief evident in his
voice. "Everyone at work seemed to automatically assume it wasn’t you.
They were saying that the girl looked blonde, which is stupid cos the photo was
in black and white," Ash growled in scorn. "Even Brock wasn’t
sure. He rang to say that if something was proved he’d beat me up." Misty
pulled his head down so it was resting on her shoulder.
"You know what
they say," she
tried, blithely, "all publicity is good publicity…"
"You do realise
this is all your fault!" Ash suddenly snapped at her, "I still don’t know
what the hell was wrong with our bed."
"There’s nothing
wrong with the damn bed, Ash!" Misty wrenched away from him, meeting his accusing
chocolate eyes in indignance. "It’s the principle of the thing! We’d
never done it! It was just an experience I wanted to share with you!"
"People do it all
the time," Ash
had continued muttering to himself as if to prove he wasn’t listening to her
excuses. "It’s not sordid in any way! It’s not illegal! Who will see
us? What’s the worst that could happen? Well, obviously Myst, the worst that
could happen is my arse and your boobs covering every front-page in the entire
universe. There."
Misty glared at him and
folded her arms across her chest.
"At least there’s
no ‘money-shot’" she
reminded him, tactfully. Ash groaned and ran his hands through his hair.
"It’s not even
flattering!" he
moaned. He shot a look at Misty. "You do realise you have to release a
statement saying that the girl in the picture was you?"
"Yeah," Misty murmured, face aflame. The
two sat in uncomfortable silence until Ash growled and slid the pile of paper
off the table roughly with his foot.
"C’mere," he said gruffly as he pulled Misty
back along the couch to him. Misty returned the uncharacteristic back-down with
one of her own; she hugged him tightly. She frowned slightly; he smelt slightly
sour from his nervous sweat. She began to feel guilty.
"You do realise
we’re never doing anything like that again."
"Well fine, if a
bad experience has turned you off out-door…" Misty began.
"No, I mean
anything dodgy. Ever," Ash cut her off. Misty frowned again.
"Define…
dodgy."
"Everything that
isn’t simple. Missionary. In a bed. Our bed," he clarified.
"B-but!" Misty spluttered in dismay.
"I can’t risk
anything like this again!" Ash silenced her. "Subject closed. Right, I’m
hungry."
Ash left a speechless
Misty sitting on the sofa, crossed through into the kitchen and promptly
slipped on a puddle of melted chocolate ice-cream that had leaked from one of
the discarded supermarket bags.
()()()()()()()()()()
"Misty, Misty,
it’s understandable that he wants to be cautious now," Violet soothed as she inspected a chip
in her nailvarnish.
"You don’t
understand!" Misty
raged, a stark contrast to her elegant sister. "I thought that after
over a decade I knew how obsessive he can be. He’s gone too far!"
"Example," Violet asked, eyeing her younger
sibling over the mug she lifted to her lips.
"Well, not only
did he confine us to the missionary position in our bed, well… the other night
he clarified that even more. We have to be the right way up on the bed." Violet raised an eyebrow.
"The right way
up?" she
repeated.
"Yeah," Misty said wearily, reaching for
her own tea. "Our heads have to be on the pillows. Apparently, anything
else is just… ‘dodgy’…" she groaned before gulping from her mug,
glaring over the rim at her laughing sister.
"Aw, Misty," Violet managed as her laughter
ebbed, "he just needs some time."
"That’s what I
thought but he’s had weeks!" Misty complained. "And it’s not fair. I’m a woman.
I have needs. There’s so much I haven’t experienced…" Violet sighed.
"I knew Daisy was
wrong to start you reading Cosmopolitan at six…"
"It’s like his…
his… status and public appearance… has become more important than me," Misty finished, her voice growing
quieter with each word. Violet gazed at her, sadness evident over her pretty
features. Suddenly she snapped her fingers.
"If in doubt,
consult Cosmo!" she beamed, reaching into her bag for the latest issue. The two women
poured over the wonderfully glossy pages, the new-age oracle, the answer to all
of life’s problems.
()()()()()()()()()()
"Hotel
Peek-a-Boo?" Ash
echoed suspiciously from behind the monochrome pamphlet. Misty snaked her arms
around him from behind.
"Yup!" she grinned, giving him a quick
squeeze. "It’s a wonderful adult resort, deep in the Orange Islands. If
we’re careful, nobody will even know you’re there!"
"Wha, adult?"
Ash mumbled as
Misty spun him around and kissed him in delight.
"I’ve already
booked you time off work," she continued after she broke the kiss. "And
arranged for your lookalike to wander around town centre a bit and in and out of
the offices. With a bit of luck, the papers will never catch on!"
"Meh?" Ash blinked, softening when Misty
reached to give him another excited kiss.
"Oh Ash, you can
just forget all about being the Master. You can be Ash. You can be my
boyfriend. You can do whatever you want!"
"I dunno about
this, Misty…" Ash
said in the sensible wary tone he had picked up. Misty carried on regardless.
"Now I’ve told
Brock that we’re going to visit your mother for a week, and told your mother to
tell Brock we’re out if he calls there. Nobody will know where we are. A week
of pure isolation! And once we get you loosened up…" Misty trailed her fingers down his
back seductively. Ash gave a sudden smile and pulled her closer.
"A week with no
one to disturb us! If we can carry this off, this’ll be great!"
()()()()()()()()()()
Brock wiggled on the broad
suitcase, dispelling his weight until Duplica could hurriedly strap it closed.
The luggage released a threatening groan as Brock stood up, but remained
closed.
Brock wrapped Duplica’s
petite form in his arms and kissed the top of her head.
"Packed for sun
and kinky fun!" Brock
cheered, inadvertently jostling his girlfriend. "A week with no one to
disturb us! This’ll be great!"