Dragonitemare presents

Pokemon Crystal series

Ep. 62

Now that Misty has gone out and satisfied her desire for some action, we pick......

.........................

.........................

......................... GETCHA MIND OUTTA DA GUTTA, WE'VE BARELY EVEN BEGUN YET!

.....as I was saying, our threesome is out exploring the Safari Zone and going even into the dark hours of nightime to see all the nocturnal pokemon. "I can't believe some of the sights and rare pokemon that I've seen in the Safari Zone today", remarks Cris-tal sounding like she's been seeing more than just a pristine ecosystem and Safari Zone pokemon. "And now that we're out here at night, we can get a first class view at some of the nocturnal pokemon", says Justin prompting Misdreavus to come out and surprise her master or subordinate depending on your perspective. "Misdreavus, you're not nocturnal, you're just an all-night nutcase", replies Justin bringing back Misdreavus to its pokeball.

Looks like Justin's temper with Misdreavus is shortening everyday now.

The threesome then see all the nocturnal Safari Zone pokemon in all their beauty as pointed out by Pikachu and Sandshrew as they love to point things out together now. And in the cloudy night, we hear the echoes of, "Hoothoooooot", "Ekannnsssss", "Umbreon!", "Spinarak", and "Teddiurrsaaaaaa". Misty then jokes that there may be more foot traffic in the Safari Zone during the nighttime. But before they can admire all of nocturnal pokemon pointlessly, thunder begins to rumble signifying the presence of a storm. "The wind's starting to pick up", notes Crystal as Sandshrew feels the chill of the wind making Pikachu pat his shoulder to see if he needs warmth. "A storm is coming soon... and from the looks of things, I think it's going to be a nasty one", Justin tells them moving Misty to demand that they have to find shelter.

They start walking a bit faster until a couple bright flashes of lightning crash down from the sky making the twerps start to dash. This makes it worthwhile for a story to talk about the weather finally, though this is not to imply that this is the first storm that the threesome has ever seen together. Other episodes have been in some bad weather but it just wasn't important to bring it up most of the time. I assure you, there has been rain and other kinds of weather before! Back to the story....

"It doesn't look like there's any shelter anywhere near here!", states Crystal as the raindrops bounce off her hair. But then Misty points out something with its lights on up ahead. When they clear out of the woods, they see it as a colossal, brightly lit building complex. "What the heck is that?!", wonders Justin looking up as he's running as Crystal recognizes it as the Safari Zone Events Complex and from the looks of things, there's something going on in there. "Well whatever it is, we might as well check it out cuz we have to find shelter now!", Justin says as they bolt for the arena ahead of them. "Pika!", adds Pikachu as his cheeks begin to spark while he bolts for the arena at full speed with the twerps. And yes, the pun was intended asshole!

<cue intro>

The threesome just barely makes it in the door saving themselves from taking another dreaded raindrop. Pikachu and Sandshrew shake off the excess water looking all koot and stuff as Crystal says that she wonders what's happening in here. Just then, they hear a bunch of Pikachus from all around the building calling out, "pikaa", and "Pikachu!", making them all gasp in shock. "They're... all Pikachus... and their trainers. Dozens of them!", says Misty as Justin believes it must be some kind of Pikachu convention.

So being the curious motherf*ckers, they approach the nearest Pikachu trainer and ask them why all the Pikachus are gathered in this one place as we notice a couple of them sparking in the background. "I'm surprised you never got any information about it, since you're wandering around the Safari Zone", the guy responds to them who looks like a teenaged Tom Cruise by the way, "This is Kanto Pikachu Open where every three years somewhere in Kanto, trainers and their Pikachus from all over converge in a series of battles to crown the Pikachu that battles the best." "Oh yeah, I did the flyer about that! I just forgot to mention it to you guys", Justin then says.... how convenient that he forgets. "And all the electric energy from all these Pikachus explains why it's so bright in here", adds Misty.

"Well one thing I know for sure, whomever wins that championship will be only second best, at most, right Pikachu?", Crystal asks her furry electric buddy. "Pikachuuu", responds Pikachu as Mr. Teen Cruise suggests that they enter the tournament as well adding that her Pikachu looks very impressive, almost as impressive as his. "We'll see about that", Crystal grins competitively yet not too wildly as Justin adds that since it is an open tournament, he doesn't see any reason for her and Pikachu not to be in it, as well.

The guy with them then says that there's still a few hours tonight to sign up for it. "Pika piii", greets the young man's Pikachu wearing a black bandana with lightning images as a sign of being tough probably. Crystal's Pikachu says hi back along with Sandshrew, adding, "Saaa saaanshrew", staying close enough to indicate to the young's man bandana'd electric rodent not to get any ideas. "Thank you, Pikachu and I will go enter the tournament right now", Crystal then pauses and then says, "Umm... I didn't get your name." And being that he looks like a young Tom Cruise with his shades on indoors, it's a nice convenience that his name is Tomas, which is the Spanish, Swedish, AND Italian equivalent of Tom. Tomas takes off his shades to smile at Cris-tal making her smile widely and look back at him with everything becoming all sparkly.

Uh ohhh... sparkles around smiling people can only mean, aside from the obvious that's normally associated with Cris-tal....... that love is in the air. Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

"Hmmmm", hmm's Justin looking very intrigued by the young 'uns glances at each other as Misty also observes thoughtfully and quietly herself. "Well... thank you, Tomas. I'm Crystal by the way", thanks Crystal gracious for the information from the flowing haired gentleman. "Thank you too, Crystal", replies Tomas without Cris-tal having to really do anything for him. So we zip to Crystal and Pikachu at the sign-up table all ready for the tournament with an Officer Jenny along with a Nurse Joy sitting behind the table. Tournament coordinator Jenny tells Crystal that their first round match in the Pika-tournament will be tomorrow at 5 pm sharp.

"And it's going to be on the court out there", points out Nurse Joy. Crystal looks to her right out towards the battle arena to see to her shock that the battle area itself is outside as she watches the pouring rain and lightning come down then pressing Officer Jenny about it. "Well, the battle arenas for most Kanto Pikachu Opens are usually in an outdoor climate so the pokemon face the natural elements along with their trainers so they can experience what their pokemon is experiencing during battle", explains the increasingly pathetic cop. "I can understand that", replies Crystal as Pikachu nods, "Pikahchuuu!" Nurse Joy then tells them that they're finished for the night and stay in the special Pokemon Center rest facility they have nearby for the tourney participants. So Misty thanks Joy and Jenny as Crystal gets a little uneasy about having to travel in the heavy rain and dangerous lightning. But Officer Jenny responds that unfortunately, the rain isn't forecasted to let up for quite a long time but then reassures them by saying that they have shuttles going back and forth leaving from the other side of the arena. "Phew... that's a relief", says Justin smiling at the two professional temptresses that, "I'd hate to soak in the rain and dodge those deadly lightning bolts..."

"... I hate soaking in the rain and dodging these deadly lightning bolts!!!", cowers James as we suddenly go to TR who's panicking for an escape from their floating happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon which they hope doesn't become a death trap as lightning strikes all around their balloon. And certainly, James's statement is no coincidence as you can probably tell, right? TR tries to hang on as the wind and rain attack them mercilessly while we hear Jessie shouting at James, "Why don't you tell somebody who doesn't know that?!", shivering in the high winds, "...which happens to be nobody with how loud you're whining!!" "Woooooooobbuuuhhffet!", implies Wobbuffet coming out of its pokeball to enjoy the cool breeze and refreshing raindrops.

"STAY DOWN OR YOU'LL KNOCK US ALL OVERBOARD!!", shouts Jessie pushing Wobbuffet down and then turning her rage towards Meowth, "MEOWTH, HAVEN'T YOU FOUND SOMEWHERE TO LAND YET?" "Ey... it ain't my fault we's about tuh get shocked, da wind is steering dis ting en we've been ovuh nuttin but trees fuh da past thoity minutes. Ey wait... dere's somethin ovuh dere. En da roof's big enough tuh land on even wit' da openin in da middle. Hang on!" "OH HAPPY DAAAY!", rejoices James, "We're not gonna die after all." "Woooooooobbuuhhffet!", says Wobbuffet rising back up to salute the good news.

So TR lands on top of what appears to be the Safari Zone Civic Center. Jessie sighs, "Thank goodness we made it." "But how are we going to get in? That door over there is locked and there's no way we can jump all the way down there to that battle area", asks James with the rain running down from his blue hair. "Ohhh... there has to be a way to trespass in for much needed shelter without getting caught or squashed like a pancake", grumbles Jessie. "Ey you guys, take a ganduh at dis", Meowth says calling J & J over to a sky window that he and Wobbuffet are peeping into. They all look down to find, to the shock of Jessie and James, a whole group of Pikachus that are there for registering into the tournament. "Pikachus galore!", declares James as Meowth wonders what the deal with all the Pikachus is.

"It must be for some kind of tournament battle, I suppose", answers James who then suggests, "But who cares about that, let's get in there and hit the Pika-jackpot!" "NOT NOW", Jessie silences him as Meowth asks why they shouldn't try to attack now. "If we try to escape via our balloon, not only will it draw a lot of attention but we'll also be zapped to a crisp by the storm over us right now. Besides, with all these Pikachus that are going to be battling around this place, I'm sure this tournament is going to take quite awhile giving us enough time to hatch a foolproof plan", Jessie explains. "Wooooobbuuh woobbuuuuhh", approves Wobbuffet. "And also, if my assumptions are correct, we just may see an appearance by the twerps' Pikachu as well being that they are currently meandering around this Safari Zone", adds James. Meowth then copies some slang from B.I.G. and tells James, "Sounds all good, baby babyyy. But fuh now, let's find somewhere tuh dry up.... CUZ I AIN'T FEELIN' ALL DIS WATUUUUHH!" Jessie just gives the suffering kitty a dumb look for his 'baby babyyy' line, so James clarifies this by telling, "Don't mind him, he's been listening to that Monsters of Rap CD that he illegally downloaded off that Meowthster sharing program." And Jessie's reaction is perhaps the same as yours and mine right about now....

.... "Oh"

As for Cris-tal, she and her group have made it back to special barracks they have set up for the tourney participants. The 'rooms' are nothing much more than a few cots in a cubicle though that's still plenty of room for the threesome, but at least the barracks have enough technology to provide a videophone... like the one the twerps are using to talk to Ash Ketchum at the moment. "Hey Crystal... I saw all you guys on television, you know!", Ash responds to the threesome. "Even me?! Did I look alright?", worries Misty. "Don't worry", replies Mr. Blockhead, "You looked at grumpy as you usually do."

You still wonder why Misty left the genius kid, ladies and gentlemen?

"GRUMPY?! APPARENTLY YOU LOST A FEW TOO MANY BRAIN CELLS IN THAT ACCIDENT!", yells Misty wanting to smash the videoscreen making Justin have to restrain her. "Now now", he nervously laughs, "Let's behave for now. We have to tell Ash about Pikachu's big tournament." "Uhh... big tournament?", wonders Ash as those two words seem unfamiliar to him. "That's right, Ash! Pikachu and I are taking part in the Kanto Pikachu Open this year at the Safari Zone", Crystal tells her. "Saaashrew shrew", adds Sandshrew while the news makes Ash flip his lid. "WAAAAAAHHH! I ALMOST FORGOT, THAT WAS THIS YEAR!", gasps Ash.

"Take it easy, Ash, you don't wanna hurt yourself again", Justin advises him. Ash laughs and apologizes excusing himself by stating that, "Ever since I became friends with Pikachu I wanted us to compete in that tournament. And during the last one, I was out in Johto competing in the Johto Leagues. It was one thing I really, really wanted to do with Pikachu." This rapidly changes Misty's heart as she sighs for the poor crippled boy saying, "Ohh... it must be tough to lose a lot of things you take for granted." "But I'll be behind you two, 100 percent", Ash tells Cris-tal and Pikachu misestimating full effort since everyone knows that you have to give 110%, right? "I know you will, Ash", replies Crystal with Pikachu adding, "Pika pikaaaa." Then, Ash's horny Meganium rises up onto the video screen signifying to Ash that it's time for him to go (and get raped by Meganium), but not before he vows to chat with the threesome again. The twerps all say goodbye as Meganium and Ash say goodbye as well and they disconnect.

The twerps then discuss strategy for the tournament tomorrow evening with Misty asking Crystal if there's anything special they're going to do before they start battling tomorrow. "I don't think so, I guess we'll just get up tomorrow morning to do a little bit of preparation", Crystal replies. "Hey... it's you again! Good to see you", says a voice from afar which reveals itself to be Tomas. "Hi Tomas", says the smitten Crystal while Tomas and his Pikachu (still with bandana on) invites themselves in. He then asks Crystal what bracket they put her in since that may indicate that they may end up battling each other. "Oh, they put Pikachu and I in the northwest bracket", Crystal tells her. "That's cool, I'm in the north bracket. It's supposed to be the toughest of the eight brackets they have", Tomas tells them. "Pika piii", Tomas's Pikachu tells Crystal's Pikachu as they engage in a nice chat along with Sandshrew as well.

Crystal then asks Tomas what he plans to do with to beat the other Pikachus. He answers, "Honestly, I'm not too worried.... we've got a crushing skull bash attack that can devastate the competition. What's your secret move?" He then pressures Crystal by giggling, "And you have to tell me... it's only fair since I revealed my Pikachu's big move to you." Crystal then looks at Pikachu who gives her a befuddled, "Pikaaa pii??" "Hmmm", thinks Crystal who then realizes and says, "Well my Pikachu does know an iron tail attack." "Pikaaahchu", says Pikachu approvingly as it sounds pretty cool. "Yeah... but it doesn't seem like a game breaking attack like a skull bash would be", Crystal tells him.

But then Justin comes forward and informs her, "Hmm... well if you're looking for that kind of attack, Cris, I know about an attack that could work very well just for you and Pikachu." Crystal then inquires as to what this attack is and Justin tells her that it is a 'return' attack. "I've heard about a return attack, but it's pretty rare so I don't know much about it", Tomas tells him. "It's an attack where its power depends on the trust and bond a trainer has with their pokemon. The stronger the bond, the more powerful the attack is. And when I think about that, I think about how close Pikachu is to you as well as Ash. That's why I think this attack may be best suited for Pikachu", Justin explains. "That sounds like a great attack, what's it like", Misty wonders.

"Well we can find out when we teach it to Pikachu tomorrow. But for now, I'm getting tired as I'm sure everyone else is as well", Justin says. "I agree... my match is at noon so I'd better hit the hay", Tomas adds. So then he goes to leave and the threesome says their goodbyes, especially Crystal who tells him, "I'll see you tomorrow", and then does a special 'I have a crush on you, you beautiful foreign stranger' wave. "Great... then maybe we can grab a cup of coffee after my first match", Tomas says. "Cool", answers Cris-tal as Tomas departs making Misty whisper to Justin that she thinks that he may be Crystal's cup of coffee. "Saaanshrew shrew", adds Sandshrew to the dodgyness going on generated between Tomas and Crystal.

So we skip to the next afternoon where Crystal and Pikachu are preparing for their first match while Misty, Justin, and Sandshrew (who's sitting on Justin), are watching from the bleachers as the heavy rain and lightning from the night before still hasn't let up. "Oh man, this rain is still going!", Justin comments. "Saaan saaanshrew!", adds Sandshrew as Misty wishes that Crystal was able to keep herself dry with an umbrella. "I hope we're not too late...", yells Tomas coming down from the lobby area as Misty and Justin recognize him. Justin asks how he did in his battle today and Tomas and his Pikachu give the thumbs up to indicate they won. "Good for you... I take it you're here to see Crystal?", Misty tells him.

Tomas responds that he is but he can only stay and watch for a couple minutes because he has to prepare for his second round match soon. This prompts Justin to uneasily ask him, "I'm sure you'd love and watch every minute of her."

Ohh, imagine the lack of horror in seeing his friend Cris-tal fall in love with a beautiful stranger..... the lack of hoooorrooor...... THE LACK OF HOOOORROOOR!!!

"You're having another one tonight?", gasps Misty. "Yeah... and if Cris wins this battle, her second round battle is later tonight at ten", Justin tells her. "Whoa... that a lot of battles in not a lot of time", Misty notes. "Saaaanshrew", also notes Sandshrew as Crystal and her opponent, a young black-haired anorexic cheerleader babe come out into the rain. As the twerps cheer, the announcer guy announces the battle as Myra Campbell against Crystal Fletching in the first round battle. "The highlight streak in my hair may be washed out, but our winning streak is going to keep rolling along", Myra informs Crystal on the opposite side of the rain soaked field. "That's fine, we're just ready to battle and win", retorts Crystal who then thinks to herself, "Man, this rain is going to make things very different. I've never been in a pokemon battle in rain this heavy before."

Minor officiating character #57, nah... make that 457, in the middle of the ring yells for the battle to begin and Myra has her Pikachu (whom she calls Peppy.... don't ask!) use thunderbolt on Crystal's Pikachu. Eager to match voltage power, Crystal has our own Pikachu use thunderbolt right back and being that Pikachu has tons of battling experience, it easily overpowers Peppy to the chagrin of Myra and Pikachu has the advantage. So Crystal has Pikachu follow up on it by having Pikachu use another thunderbolt to put away Peppy. But Peppy uses thunderwave to block the attack, and seeing that the thunderwave worked, Myra has Peppy try to use another thunderwave on Pikachu whom beats Peppy to the punch by using quick attack. "Oh no!", gasps Myra as Crystal has Pikachu use quick attack one more time which knocks down Peppy giving Pikachu and Cris-tal an impressive victory. Sandshrew, Misty, and Justin cheer for Cris and Pikachu along with dozens of others as Crystal congratulates Pikachu. "Nice work, Pikachu! But we're not done, are we?", Crystal asks it. "Pika pikaa!!", defiantly replies Pikachu shaking its head to say 'hell no motherf*cker!'

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (I love these little critters: scrambled, fried, or hard-boiled!)

It's Exeggcute!! ......................... <multiple nagging voices> "Exeggcuuuuuute!"

After the match, Pikachu is taken to the backstage care area by the twerps to receive care before its quickly impending second round tournament matchup. "Hello, are you Crystal? And you must be Pikachu!", says Nurse Joy manning the care center actually able to tell which one Pikachu is... <sarcastic gasp>. "We sure are", responds Crystal as Nurse Joy tells her that she's here to take her Pikachu and revitalize it for its match later. Crystal thanks Nurse Joy and gives Pikachu over to her so she can do what she needs to. Nurse Joy also gives the threesome a warning that an alarming number of Pikachus around the arena are getting a mysterious illness due to some kind of food poisoning and advises them to be very careful when they eat. "Really? What's wrong with the food?", wonders Misty. Nurse Joy replies that she doesn't know and that it's popping up randomly. But not to worry, for she also tells them that Officer Jenny is on the case as she speaks.

Ooooohh... that'll get you some fast results! <more sarcasm>

"I just hope that whatever is behind this is identified and negated as soon as possible", concludes Nurse Joy. Misty and Justin go look into the sick ward of the arena where they are stunned by the dozens of Pikachus that are not feeling well. "Look at them all", notes Misty as Crystal says that she'd better keep Pikachu away from the others that are sick or else an illness may hamper their quest to become Pika-champions. "But what could be behind this epidemic?", wonders Justin triggering us to find our answer looking on from the air ducts.

"Uwah hah... those loser Pikachus weren't expecting their shish-kabobs to leave them all with sickness", Jessie laughs. "En it's all tanks tuh da expired catnip I left in da seasonin' mix", adds Meowth. James then quips about the shish-kabobs, "Just looking at those shish-kabobs almost made me sick." "Well now dat all dose Pikachus are succumbin' tuh disease, let's rollout en pick a peck uh Pikachu", Meowth declares. "Wooooooooooobbbuuhhffeet woooooobb", finishes Wobbuffet saluting for the camera.

Back to Crystal, she gets back Pikachu from Nurse Joy all safe and sound. "All right.... are you ready to do some more winning, Pikachu?", Crystal asks Pikachu. "PI-KAAAHH!", shouts Pikachu triumphantly while Sandshrew supports them by adding, "Saaashrew shrew saaaaaashrew." They then see a screen image of the dreamy Tomas stating that he just won his 2nd round battle as Misty, who surprisingly isn't too much attracted to Tomas like Cris is (she must like those straight-up dumb American joes), tells Justin gladly that Pikachu and Crystal are out to win the championship. "Ummm... I don't think the championship is the only thing Crystal's out for", Justin tells her as he looks up at the screen.

With that in mind, the next few rounds are sped through faster than a Concorde jet to the tune of "We Will Shock You".... a classic and cheesy take on the legendary, "We Will Rock You", by Queen (God bless Freddy Mercury). We see several clips of Pikachu shocking, whacking other Pikachus with its iron tail, and tackling...... or to put it simply, just Pikachu opening up a can of whoop-ass as we see round by round flash by until the music and Pika-arsekicking stops. "This is great! Cris is now the northwest bracket's champion and has made it all the way to the quarterfinals", Justin says as we see the rain and lightning STILL coming down! But it looks like this area of the Safari Zone and arena is immune to flooding so that's not a really important issue....

"Saaaashrew", yells Sandshrew as Misty agrees and wonders who Crystal's next opponent is. "Well according to the program brackets here, it looks like it's going to be Crystal... against.... AAAHH!", says Justin gasping at the pairings.... like you don't know who the opponent is now. "Huh? It's..... AAAUUGH!", then gasps Misty peeking over into Justin's program. "IT'S TOMAS!", they both yell. "Boy, this should be quite interesting", Justin comments. "Shrew saaaashrew sanshrew", adds Sandshrew as the announcer annoyingly shouts out that this quarterfinals match will be between Crystal and Tomas. The two crushes, meanwhile, meet on the rain-soaked field shocked to realize they're facing each other... along with their Pikachus.

"So we're actually going to battle", Tomas tells Crystal and Crystal answers that it looks likely. "Pikaaa", says Pikachu as the other Pikachu hollas back. Then begins to profess her crush for Tomas saying, "Indeed. But I must say that you've been quite a gentleman in the past few days, the way you've helped me and my friends out and looking quite handsome doing so. You have been terrific, raising your Pikachu very well and also has been such a charm." "Oh, it has been so honorable to assist you. Once this is all over, I would like to go on a date with you, since I'm sure you feel the same way about me", proposes Tomas. "Pika pi pikachu", then says his Pikachu.

Well... he finally did it! You can almost hear Cris-tal's heart melting..... all the way into da gutta!

"PIKAHCHUU!", shouts the surprised Pikachu as Crystal blushes in embarrassment. "Well... it would be lovely to go out on the town together with you, Tomas. It may even be a dream come true", she approves with sparkling eyes and a bewildered Pikachu besides him. "What's going on?", wonders Misty looking perplexed as to what an actual 'relationship' looks like. Justin then adds with Sandshrew looking confused on his lap, "I don't get it... do they think they're battling or dating." "But.... before we can begin dating, there's just one more thing I have to do", Crystal then announces to Tomas. "Really? What is that?", Tomas asks before Crystal loudly tells him, "I have to beat you, Tomas! ...And your Pikachu before moving on to the semifinals and finals where Pikachu and I will become the Kanto Pikachu Open Champions!!!" "PIKAAAHH!", defiantly adds Pikachu (imagine that, a defiant French.... many believe Pikachu is French, don't ask me why!).

"Oh my, she is much more competitive than I thought", Tomas tells his Pikachu as he's suddenly taken a little back. "Piikaaah", moans his Pikachu as Crystal challenges him to the battle adding that the sooner she wins, the sooner that they can go out. The startled Tomas then takes a moment before replying, "Fine with me", but not sounding quite as confident.

AHHHHHHH.... now I get it!! Tomas sees a lost, cracked out girl that looks more harmless than he thinks and tries to seduce the young girl with his mysterious good looks and romantic accent. That way, Tomas gets a trophy wife who relies on him as a sugar daddy for all her narcotics and he gets the money for whoring her all throughout Eastern Europe a few years later.... okay, that might be a bit of a stretch... But now that Tomas is experiencing Cris-tal's competitiveness full-scale and how well she can handle her body despite everything she does to it, he realizes now that he's not getting what he expected or more correctly, he's getting a lot more than what he expected. And now he has to face the possibility that she and Pikachu will hand his ass to him. Ain't that right, Tomas?

But luckily for Tomas, he gets a breather from our good friends at Team Rocket who then butt into their match. "Buhfore you twoips staht beatin' each utter up, why don't cha check out da show we put tuhgettuh. It's shore tuh draw a huge crowd", Meowth announces from the roof of the open arena. "Oh no!", shouts Crystal as they spot the happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon on the roof ledge overlooking the rainy battlefield along with a giant magnet. "Is that a gigantic magnet?", wonders Tomas.

"Aha haaa... Prepare for trouble, it's a magnet indeed"
"Make it double, it'll attract what we need"
"To protect the world from devastation", Jessie says coming out in punk rock attire
"To unite all peoples within our nation", James says rocking out in a black leather jacket with pink chains!.... only James, folks.
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James"
"No one will resist Team Rocket's attraction" (STOP IT, YOU HORNY DOGS!)
"Especially all the Pikachu's that have been here in action"
Meowth then appears in an Einstein wig finishing, "En dough dis scheme is very smart, it didn't need no Edison."

"How do they come up with all that stuff?", says Crystal completely stonefaced (not too unusual for her). "I don't get it? Team Rocket.... are you here to perform at the closing ceremonies?", wonders Tomas making TR fall over...... he must have lived a sheltered life. "No", sighs James telling Tomas and Crystal, "We're just here to close the ceremonies!" "PIKAHCHU!", shouts Crystal's Pikachu as Crystal demands to know what they think they're doing. "We're bringin' da rest of da competition wit' us", Meowth announces. "I don't know what you're talking about but you're interrupting this match!", yells Officer Jenny. "Ahaa", laughs Jessie, "If you step outside, you'll see what I mean."

"Ready to steal this one, Meowth?", Jessie asks the scratch-cat. "One? You must mean one hundred", replies Meowth as they leap into their balloon and quickly lower themselves to the ground level. When the twerps arrive outside, they see the wall knocked down and Officer Jenny points out all the Pikachus that are in the special care unit with illness. "Let's do dis ting!", declares Meowth as James turns the big magnet on. "Pikaa.... PIKAAAA!", shout all the Pikachus flying out of Nurse Joy's little care den and sticking to TR's magnet to the horror of Nurse Joy's who's walls of secrecy were just exposed.

"Now I understand, Team Rocket is using that magnet to draw together all the sick Pikachus whose illnesses are making them magnetically attractive. That means Team Rocket must have been behind the mysterious food poisoning", explains Officer Jenny. Crystal gasps and yells at TR, "YOU MONSTERS! You can't get away with this." Officer Jenny then sends forth her Growlithe to burn the rope tying the balloon to the magnet. But then a kamikaze of lightning bolts strike from two silver metal panels on either side of the balloon to keep everything away from TR. James explains to everyone that they're using the energy that the ill Pikachus are unable to control transferring it over to the panel which strike back at any 'do-gooders'.

"Oh no!", reacts Crystal still with her healthy Pikachu as Tomas wonders if those Pikachus are going to be okay. "Don't worry... we won't let them get far", Justin tells Tomas and his Pikachu. "But we need a pokemon that can make it through all that electric energy", says Misty as Crystal replies that they will then need Sandshrew who's watching all the sick Pikachus struggling free themselves from TR's big magnet unsuccessfully. But then a pair of robotic hands grab Sandshrew surprising the threesome and the others as TR then stuffs Sandshrew into a special sack so it can't escape or use oh say.... sandstorm. "Whoops", remarks James adding, "There goes your strategy!" TR cackles after getting Sandshrew as Jessie tells them all that they really enjoyed all the fights but that it's time to take their prize make their championship exit but vows Crystal that they'll be coming back really soon for her Pikachu, too.

And thus, Team Rocket looks like they've finally outsmarted everybody and have successfully pulled off a major scheme. And also if you know anything at all about Team Rocket, you know that this is when nature takes its course to screw them. "COME BACK HERE!", yells Misty as Crystal tries to approach the balloon but Justin, not Tomas interestingly, holds her back so she doesn't get shocked. As the happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon elevates over the trees with the Pikachus, Sandshrew, and the protective electric panels, Officer Jenny then notices that the storm is picking up again as we hear thunder rolling from the rainclouds overhead.

"Daaaaah? Do a buncha sick Pikachu normally create thunduh?", wonders Meowth nervously. The increasing intensity of the storm makes James cower, "I don't think so, if we don't get out of here, us and this balloon are going to get lit up brighter than a Christmas tree." "OHHHH... Just our luck!", groans Jessie, "We're going to have to land again." "But Jessie, we can't land uh else da twoips will get us", replies Meowth. "Well we're going to have to decide what we want to do if we're going to avoid a total disaster", states Jessie. "WOOOOOOOOOOOBBUUHHFFEET!", shouts Wobbuffet saluting towards the skies ahead of them. "If only we received a sign from the heavens...", says James and the heavens respond to the heartfelt plea of James.

.... except that God doesn't like the evildoers or the gay according to the now defunct Christian Coalition of America...

Thus, a big bolt of lightning comes down right on top of the happy Buddha-faced Meowth balloon shocking the f*ck out of TR causing it to explode as immensely and loudly as possible. Sandshrew falls from the basket in the sack that James throws because of getting shocked along with the horde of sick Pikachus that fall after the explosion blows the magnet apart yet frees the Pikachus unharmed. Meanwhile, while the forces of good go down, everything associated with TR shoots upwards with TR shouting.

"That wasn't the sign we were looking foooooooooooorr!" "Woooobbuuhh."

Fortunately for all the sick Pikachus and Sandshrew, they were just floating above the trees just outside the arena and their rodent instincts help them to land on the tree branches only shaken from the sudden drop. Sandshrew meanwhile, races down the big pine tree to reunite with Crystal who makes sure that Sandshrew is alright and judging by Pikachu's reaction... he seems to be just fine. Oh that horny Pikachu... "It looks like your Sandshrew is okay", Tomas observes as Crystal says she's thankful for that. Tomas also notices the unbelievable concern that Pikachu has for Sandshrew as Crystal gets that look for him longing to take care of him the way that 'Sandshrew and Pikachu take care of each other'.

Cris-tal nods and then inquires about the other sick Pikachus wondering if they should do anything to meddle... I mean, help to bring them down. Nurse Joy tells them not to worry claiming that Officer Jenny is going to have a group of people go and rescue them from atop the trees and then assures them that they'll all be okay. "As for you two, you'd better prepare for your match against each other. We'll have everything wrapped up here", Nurse Joy tells her. Justin tells Cris that Nurse Joy is right and that she's got a tournament to win as Tomas looks on at them a bit discouraged that Justin's directing her. Crystal pauses and then agrees with Justin asking Pikachu and Tomas if they're ready, and they both agree.

So moments later with everything cleared up, the quarterfinal match is ready to resume. With Tomas and Crystal staring at each other across the field in the driving rain, Justin and Misty talk about how good Tomas's Pikachu must be with Misty saying, "Tomas must be really good to get this far. This won't be easy!" "Yeah, and now we're gonna find out how good he and his Pikachu really are", Justin adds as both Pikachus eye down each other ominously as the battle begins. "Pikachu, use your thunder attack!", shouts Tomas as Crystal has Pikachu use its thunder as well. "PIIIIIIII-KAAAAAH-CHUUUUUUUU!!", cry out both rodents as their energy bolts smash into each other causing an explosion injuring each other equally.

"They both have the same amount of power. This could be a standstill", Justin comments with Sandshrew yelling out to encourage Pikachu to keep fighting. Tomas then shouts to his Pikachu, "Another thunder attack, now!" And as his Pikachu goes to shock our Pikachu, Crystal thinks to herself that while his Pikachu can match hers power, maybe it can't match its speed. So she tells Pikachu, "Pikachu, dodge it!" And thus, koot lil' Pikachu escapes the attack making Tomas compliment Pikachu's maneuverability saying, "Pretty shifty!" "Now Pikachu! Use quick attack!", shouts Crystal as Pikachu dashes towards the opposition when Tomas has his Pikachu use reversal.

In very slow motion, we see Crystal's Pikachu approach Tomas's Pikachu to hit 'em. But the bandana-clad Pikachu takes Cris-tal's Pikachu's widdle paws and swings Pikachu around to throw it down to the ground. "What happened? Is Pikachu okay?", worries Misty as Justin explains that Tomas's Pikachu used reversal, a fighting move which counters the attack of an attacking pokemon. Justin calls Tomas's move very clever as Crystal asks her Pikachu if it's alright. "Pika PIII!!", shouts Pikachu who now sounds pissed off after getting rejected. "Of course you're alright Pikachu, you're the best!", declares Crystal making Pikachu pika again to express the fact that 'she damn right, bitches'.

Tomas then has his Pikachu go after Crystal's with a body slam and it goes to squash Pikachu. "Pikachu, use your iron tail!", shouts Crystal making Pikachu quickly react and ready to strike. And as the lightning bandana-clad one goes to pounce on Sandshrew's lovebird, Pikachu's tail glows brightly as it swings it around to catch the airborne Pikachu, knocking it down. "Nice move, Pikachu, show 'em no mercy!", shouts Misty. "Saaaaanshrew shrew", adds Sandshrew while Tomas quickly counters having his Pikachu use thunderwave which stuns Pikachu physically and the twerps mentally.

This leaves Pikachu stunned, wobbling around, and vulnerable for Tomas's Pikachu to use its skull bash hitting our Pikachu bandana first. So the Pikachu with the bandana crouches down to gain energy (and look like it's trying to poop) and then it races in at Crystal's Pikachu. Sandshrew and Justin look concerned with Justin noting that if Pikachu lands that skull bash, the match will be all over. So with Pikachu coming to seemingly a bit too late, Crystal thinks about what she can do and then realizes, "Hey... that return attack we learned the other day, I forgot about it. It's worth a try now!" She then orders her Pikachu to use its return attack.

"Pika!!", obliges Pikachu who then poises itself and then a mysterious glow then enwraps its body while Tomas's Pikachu still hasn't hit its opponent when it should have landed its blow about ten seconds ago. But then Pikachu seems ready to unleash its attack as Crystal gets a strange feeling along with Pikachu before it creams its bandana wearing opponent with a shockingly powerful blow. Ahhh... so she's still been smokin' before the entire time I see.... "Pikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!", shouts Tomas's Pikachu in pain as we see Cris-tal, Tomas, Misty, and Justin all gasp on their respective sections of the screen. The Pikachu in the funky bandana then stumbles around after taking the full effects of the attack as Tomas does his best to will it to stay up, but after a moment, the new attack proves to be too much and Tomas ends up losing to Cris-tal.

"What a strong attack. That proves that the bond between Crystal and Pikachu is as strong as it's ever been", Justin says. "It knocked out the other Pikachu with just one shot!", gasps Misty as Sandshrew cheers for Pikachu and for Crystal. Crystal then goes to celebrate with Pikachu picking it up and petting it saying, "Way to go, Pikachu! You came through huge." "Pikachu", responds Pikachu look eye to eye with Crystal and smiling. Tomas then goes over to his Pikachu and tells it, "You fought valiantly, brave one. You deserve a nice, long rest." His Pikachu then looks up wistfully at him as he picks it up in his arms and Tomas then goes to talk to Crystal with the crowd cheering for Crystal's victory.

"I've got to hand it to you, Crystal. You and Pikachu were the better fighters today", he tells them. Crystal smiles back longingly and thanks Tomas adding that it was kind of tough to battle him with the way they've felt for each other. I mean... after all... she did want to bone him. But then Tomas then reveals his feelings for her saying, "You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking between all the matches, about our feelings for each other, and I say that we can make it work." "Huh?", wonders Crystal as her Pikachu looks on perplexed while Tomas explains that he would like her to go on a few dates with him and that together, they could explore the pokemon world and always be there for each other.

Crystal is obviously flattered and has a desire to be with this mysterious foreign stud, but is it enough to get here away from the life she's living now? One with all the artificial substances she desires to keep herself satisfied and the friends and connections to keep to flow of it coming, a life that if she continues training and wins the Kanto League, can have enough fame and fortune to get any dick that she wants.... will she do it?

............. PLEASE!!

Crystal very kindly tells Tomas, "You're proposal is very sweet and you're a very cute guy, especially with the way you care for Pikachu. But even though staying and dating you would be a dream come true, I can't leave my friends whom I been with for such a long time. And I can't abandon my friends or my quest of competing in the Kanto League..... I'm sorry, Tomas." Tomas seems a little disappointed but he then states, "Okay, I respect that. You obviously have great respect for your pokemon and your friends, just like I always try to have. Good luck in your next match!" Crystal and Pikachu then thank Tomas and his Pikachu for a fun time and giving her something good to look at. "It looks like those two really have a lot of respect for each other now despite all the crushes they have going on", Justin comments from the stands. Speaking of crushes, his Misdreavus comes out to surprise him again making him giggle nervously. Misty just ignores it and smiles upon Crystal glad that she can be with her instead of the mysteriously good-looking Tomas.

But don't feel too bad for Tomas, I'm sure once Cris-tal wins enough fame and fortune from being Kanto League champion that she can pick up Tomas as one of her trophy husbands and they can live happily ever after...... with a bunch of other male whores... like in the Playboy mansion, only switched around.

<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? (The head of this legless, mostly immobile pokemon resembles one of those stereotypical aliens.)

It's Kakuna!! ........................ "Kik-kik"

Another day a little later on, we find the crowd cheering as Crystal is taking part in the semifinals with both trainers caught in intensity of the battle and the incredibly long storm. And due to time restrictions and the fact that Pikachu has already proven itself to be one of the very bestof its kind in the world, we go to near the end of the battle with a girl named Emily and her Pikachu, a girl that Justin says is a very talented collegiate trainer in the Big Nine Conference. "This is gonna come down to the wire... I don't know if Pikachu is strong enough to finish off the opponent, even with a return attack!", Justin says. "HANG IN THERE PIKACHUUUU!", shouts Misty as Sandshrew also roots on his lover as well. He also tells Misty and Sandshrew that if he was to go to Celadon City St. U. (the school they went to in the dodgy college episode), he would probably end up matching against her.

Of course the real truth probably is that this Emily isn't a female, she's a maaaaaann, baby! That's what I heard from Ash who overheard Oak talking to Tracey about his stories in the bedroom between he and Delia Ketchum. He said he's positive that he heard the words 'man', 'tranny', and 'Who the f*ck is Emily?' so there you go!!

Crystal has her Pikachu use thunder and the other Pikachu also uses thunder but neither Pikachu can gain the upper hand so the attacks cancel out. "Hmmm... not even Pikachu's thunder attack can power through against this Pikachu", she thinks to herself so she declares that Pikachu use its return attack. Meanwhile, the other trainer tells her Pikachu that they have to stop the unstoppable attack and so Emily tells her Pikachu to use zap cannon. "Zap Cannon? That's the most powerful electric attack there is!", gasps Misty. And as Pikachu gets ready to wipe out the opposition, it gets lit up with the zap cannon making it stumble around in deliria through the rain and thunder. "Pikachu, try to hang in there!", shouts Crystal as Pikachu wobbles around and tries to stay up, but after a long struggle, Pikachu goes down ending its long run in its first Kanto Open.

The ref declares Emily the winner as Misty whimpers, "Oh no." Crystal then sullenly goes over to take care of Pikachu cradling the fallen rodent and saying, "Are you alright, buddy?" "Piii? Piii-kaaa", answers the weary Pikachu. "I'm really proud of you, Pikachu. You fought like a winner.... because you are a winner", Crystal tells her fallen Pikachu. Meanwhile, Justin assesses Pikachu's performance in its first even Pikachu Open thingy stating, "While this loss does look disappointing, though all losses are in a sense. This was Pikachu's very first real competition against others of its kind from all around the world. The fact that they made it to the semifinals with hundreds of others in competition is nothing to be ashamed about." "SAAAAAAAAAAASHREEEEEEEEEWW!", yells Sandshrew proud of how Pikachu battled.

Later on, Pikachu and Crystal receive commemorative pins from some suit and tie guy that must be the commissioner of the Kanto Open and he's flanked by Officer Jenny. Nurse Joy then congratulates Crystal for her wonderful job getting to the semis as Crystal responds, "Thank you, Nurse Joy. I'm just glad that all those Pikachus that TR abducted are going to be okay." "Mm hmm", responds Nurse Joy with her Chansey and the threesome around them as we see one last smiling image of the electric rodent that could, but just didn't as the announcer rambles on about how Pikachu and Crystal became even closer and have become a much better team and stuff. That leads me to prompt this one puzzling question.....

How much do they pay this announcer guy for his two lines an episode??