Dragonitemare presents
Pokemon Crystal series
Ep. 13
 
THE NEAR TEAM MATE TRAGEDY
 
Now that Brock has departed to meet his crackhead father and many siblings 
in the ghettos of Pewter City, the balance of a team of pokemon 
protagonists has again been broken. For the last few episode, we have gone 
from Ash, Misty, and Brock to all of them plus Mrs. Ketchum, Prof. Oak, and 
Tracey to all of them plus Justin to all of them minus Ash to Misty and 
Tracey to Misty and Tracey and Crystal to Brock and Justin to Crystal, 
Misty, and Brock and on and on. 
 
So now, we end up with just the two girls, Cris-tal and Misty, without any 
male presence on the show. (Cuz you're certainly ain't going to find any 
male presence within TR.) There's no one to watch after Cris-tal's drug 
habit to make sure it doesn't go too far nor is there anybody to keep Misty 
sane and healthy from the clutches of the freaky egg thingy Togepi. 
 
Until today that is.... because today, the girls will finally get their 
male counterpart and the Team Twerp roulette will finally end! We start 
with Crystal and Misty walking through Goldenrod City where the Johto 
Express was. "So Crystal", asks Togepi psychically through Misty to get a 
sense of who this new lifeform that has taken the heart of Misty is, "what 
are you going to do first on your great big pokemon journey?" 
 
Crystal, who is excessively perky perhaps due to the fact that she didn't 
get to smoke a joint yet today, answers Togepi unknowingly, "I thought I 
would have to ask you... but now that I think of it, I shouldn't go do 
anything yet until I call my mom." Misty then says that they can use a 
video phone inside the building they're walking by. 
 
So they're about to go in until they hear something soaring overhead so 
they all look up. "Pika", spots Pikachu as they look up as Crystal notes 
that it looks like a Dragonite. Misty thinks she's right so she 
rationalizes that it's probably Justin's Dragonite jumping to conclusion as 
Misty normally does. But this time... Misty is actually right as they all 
gasp at Dragonite flying like a jet. 
 
And we see that riding on Dragonite, is Justin who is looking for a place 
to land. "There's the library.... okay Dragonite, let's land there so we 
can look into some schools", he says. Dragonite roars as he begins to 
descend on the library in Goldenrod City. 
 
Hope Justin has clearance to land that thing... it's not like he has a 
helicopter license. Damn unauthorized parkers! ...... Errrrh... I
oughtta....... 
 
 
<cue intro> 
 
 
Inside the library, Justin is on a computer looking through certain 
colleges I guess. He is looking kind of studious and also kind of pissed 
off. Hmmph, guess he must of woke up on the wrong side of Dragonite. But 
then he mumbles about why he really is unhappy. 
 
"Once I find a school to get into, I'll have a group that gives a damn and 
is impressed by my pokemon. Seems as if Ash and his merry followers 
couldn't see that I saved that moron.", snaps Justin. He goes on to utter 
to himself, "He gave all that credit to that girl, Crystal. She doesn't 
look so nice and endearing to me... more like selfish little girl that 
thought she saved Ash's life. Hell she didn't really do anything, I was the 
one that saved Ash yet.... I was looked upon like just another spectator. I 
just wish there was a group of people that saw me as an important member of 
their group."
 
Yeah.... Justin saved Ash's pitiful life and Crystal... huh... well the 
only thing she did was keep him alive in the hospital, helped out with 
critical surgery, bonded with Ash in such a special way that he let her 
borrow his pokemon, and also was so nice with everyone else that she gained 
the respect of the rest of Team Twerp.
 
So do we all like myself............ ah ah ah....... heh heh... I didn't 
say anything! Do we all like Justin? The answer is......... HELL YEAH! (or 
at least it better be!) Why? Simply because he can get pissed off and make 
people believe it unlike the other supporting male characters; Brock, who 
just acts goofy when he's angry, and that cream puff Tracey who couldn't 
even scare a Caterpie. 
 
After Justin rants about his problems, a mysterious voice tells him, "I 
think I may have the solutions to your problems." Justin turns around and 
we notice that............. 
 
.................... it's Richard Simmons! ... who can help him lose all 
those unwanted pounds... and heterosexual desires that he wanted......... 
 
................... 
 
.................... 
 
.................... (Eeeeuuuggghh! Richard Simmons!) 
 
.................. just kidding..... it's TR boss Giovanni who names 
himself when Justin asks. He goes on to tell Justin that he could find a 
group for him within his operation. He carefully tells Justin about how the 
objective of his group is to bring him rare pokemon for use in his many 
pokemon gyms leaving out any details about Team Rocket or criminal 
engagements. "Plus you'll be with a group that will be your friends and you 
can even do your job while you're in school.", sells Giovanni. 
 
He then tells him that if he wants to that he has an office nearby if he 
wants to come with him and sign up to join. He figures, in a comedic sort 
of way, that he'll go along with it and he follows Giovanni to the TR 
headquarters. 
 
After a wipe of decapitated Dragonite heads flying by the screen, we see 
Misty and Crystal at the videophone booth. Crystal is on the phone with her 
mother telling her that she went on a big, long pokemon excursion without 
her permission thanks to a moron named Ash. She also adds that her trip 
will take several months so don't expect her back anytime soon. 
 
Now Crystal's mother should be shocked, no? Instead Crystal's mom was 
grateful that she's finally had her dream come true and adds that she told 
Crystal so about her dream coming true that day. "Just remember to call me 
every so often.... I can't believe my baby's going to be a pokemon 
master.", she says and Cris-tal promises she will as she hangs up the 
phone. 
 
Well....... let's just say this. At least we know where Cris-tal gets it 
from. I wonder Crystal's mom knows Mrs. Ketchum or knows any local dirty 
professors? Or even wonder whether we've found Mrs. Ketchum's crack-
cocaine dealer? This discussion could go on and on and on but I don't have 
the time.
 
"Aw... what a sweet mom, Crystal!", says Misty as Togepi laughs at the 
woman and her strange ways. Now would you expect Misty to know any better?? 
The answer to this is not really because she's spent the past three years 
wandering around with Ash Ketchum and also she has been being leeched off 
of by the parasitic Togepi.
 
So they exit out the back door while another group of road weary city 
slickers come in the entrance to the building about a second later. Namely, 
Team Rocket.... they look rather tired, broken-down, and nervous. "I don't 
feel like tellin da boss dat we don't have no pokemon", says Meowth. "And I 
don't feel very well", adds James. "Well you're going to feel very sick if 
I hear any more of your whining", warns Jessie.
 
"Like it or not... the boss demanded that we call him so one of us has to 
break the bad news to him", says Jessie as they stop in front of the 
videophone. "Well it ain't gonna be me!", shout James and Meowth at the 
same time before Jessie smacks them and tells them to just get it over 
with. On the videophone is Giovanni and then Jessie (the leader) tries to 
tell them that they've tried their hardest to steal the twerps' pokemon. 
 
But Giovanni cuts them off saying he doesn't want to hear their sorry 
tales. "Oh they're sorry!", says Meowth interrupting the boss which pisses 
off Jessie who grabs Meowth by the top of his head and throws him like a 
football. She apologizes for Meowth and lets him continue. He groans that 
he wants the three of them to report immediately to his office in Goldenrod 
City (where they already are). 
 
The phone hangs up and James gets totally nervous saying, "Eeeeeeeeee! I 
hope we don't get.... 'the news'", biting his nails and cowering like a 
little girl. Meowth stumbles over still dazed after Jessie threw it further 
than a John Elway football. 
 
International audience: Ahem!!!!? 
 
Uh... er... I mean a John Elway American football. Meowth then asks, "What 
news?", as he falls over himself before Jessie drags him away followed by a 
quivering James.
 
Back with our other heroes, Misty asks Crystal if she's going to take the 
Magnet Train back to Saffron City. But Crystal replies that she's first 
going to get some advice from Miss Karen, a member of the Elite Four as 
noted by the druggie. She adds that she has a house located on a nearby 
lake and tells Misty and her pokemon duo to follow her towards the house. 
 
Back at Giovanni's office where Justin is an unknowing victim of 
capitalistic criminal activity, Giovanni tells him that his partners should 
be arriving anytime now. He asks him if he knows what his objective is 
which he does. He also tells him that his partners are idiots and that they 
need his leadership to help do the job warning that failure is not an 
option. But Justin, being a good soldier, tells him that it's no problem 
and that he and his pokemon can do the job.
 
"Ah... your partners are here...", declares Giovanni as the automatic 
supermarket door slides open to reveal who's behind the door. 
 
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!", 
screams Justin as does Jessie, James, and Meowth when they realize that 
they're all partners all of a sudden.
 
Hands up if you saw that coming.......... 
 
"They're..... that means..... you're with Team Rocket!!!", shouts Justin 
who had more to discover than TR as he oy's in shock and deliria. "That's 
one of those twerps", utters James equally as stunned. Justin continues to 
stumble and mutter incoherantly but Giovanni tells him that he doesn't 
necessarily need him to steal any pokemon. He just wants him to get any 
rare pokemon any way possible. 
 
"Well.... it's not like those kids were my best friends in the world", 
notes Justin. Jessie then asks Giovanni why he called them to his office 
for. He shouts, "Silence!", to her as any evil crime lord would do and 
tells them that effective immediately, Justin is their newest partner. 
 
Now Justin panics at first saying that he won't team with those three but 
Meowth pulls a tearjerker saying that it would have been so much fun for a 
new member to go along with TR. James adds in the sobbing saying, "He would 
have been so welcome.... despite that bus incident!", as we all know why 
James would consider him welcome. Jessie scolds the two saying that this 
isn't for a friendship... this is business. 
 
Giovanni then sells some more in a James Earl Jones type voice about why 
those three need him. He says, "They'd finally be on the right track!", as 
the trio agree in unison turning around from their GAS arguing sequence. 
Justin hmmm's for a minute then he..... he....... agrees to Giovanni's 
offer saying it could work out. J, J, M, & W (out of nowhere) celebrate 
while Meowth proclaims, "We'll finally beat dose twoips and dat Pikachu!", 
as Jessie calls back Wobbuffet. TR then shouts, "Let's go!", as Giovanni 
tells them all that they are excused. 
 
Later, we notice the happy buddha-faced Meowth balloon up in the sky. 
"Hey.... you don't look half bad!", raves Meowth. "You're making a fashion 
statement there, killer!", raves James even more. Jessie spots Team Twerp 
down below as Justin comments, "This is already looking a tad awkward..." 
 
Down below on the beach, Crystal and Misty are looking for Miss Karen's 
house unaware of the surprise that is imminent. "See her house yet?", asks 
Misty while master Togepi looks on with concern. Crystal looks but doesn't 
see anything yet until she sees a light in the distance and she looks with 
delight either because a) it's a bonfire perfect to hit up a joint at or b) 
it is Miss Karen's house. 
 
"There it is", proclaims Crystal as Misty shouts, "Miss Karen's house dead 
ahead." But TR arrives on the scene from behind as Jessie shouts, "Pair of 
twerps dead ahead." Crystal, Pikachu, and Misty turn around and yell at 
them for no good reason other than to clarify that they have hearing 
ability.
 
"Ahahahahaha. Now you'll prepare for trouble"
"Focus here 'cause we're making it double"
"That's right!", yells a mysterious voice hiding behind the balloon, 
"because I'll make it triple!", as Justin leaps up in full uniform
to stun Team Twerp.
 
"Justin?!!", yell Crystal and Misty as Pikachu gasps, "Pikachu?!" "Yeah 
it's me! Surprised, ain't ya?", comments Justin as TR laughs. Misty growls 
much like her boyfriend would do as Crystal shouts at him, "I hope this is 
just a sick joke! Why?" Oh ol' Justin's gotta bunch of reasons girl! But 
they'll have to wait for the commercial... 
 
Misty yells at Justin all the good saintly things that he's done and that 
it's a mortal sin just to do a hobby known as Team Rocket. Justin explains, 
"Yeah, we were tight.. me and Ash. But once the Johto league was over... 
you didn't give a crap about me. I even made it to the finals of the Johto 
league... and I was even competing for your little boyfriend." 
 
Misty gapes in shock and anger as Justin continues his rant. "I even helped 
you guys out in defeating Team Rocket and saving your lives but was I 
thanked? Ooooohhhh, no!", he says, "You guys just walked all over me like a 
doormat.... even when I helped saved your boyfriend's life by flying him to 
the nearest hospital, you still didn't thank me!" At this point, James 
provides a great quote for comic relief saying, "I know your pain... I 
always feel like a doormat", oh... love that James....... comically (GETCHA
MINDS OUTTA DA GUTTA)
 
By then, Misty has had enough of hearing the truth. She screams angrily at 
him, "First of all, we didn't mean it that way and second of all you turd 
HOW DARE YOU CALL ASH MY BOYFRIEND!!!" "So you don't get any attention from 
Ash and his friends! I guess that YOU'RE done watching over him, huh?", 
yells Crystal.
 
He turns to Crystal and preaches, "... And you!", in true Vince McMahon 
style, "You make me even sicker." He goes on to state, "You butt into 
everyone's lives acting all good and innocent. Then, you force Ash into 
spending some 'quality time' with you and start bonding and then use him to 
get yourself a chance at glory." "That's not true!", interrupts Cris-tal. 
 
Justin continues, "You then portray this sweet and innocent persona to all 
of Ash's friends. But you're probably anything but sweet and innocent you 
little wretch!" Crystal gets steamed being called a wretch by someone who 
isn't stoned, "Well... I may not be sweet and innocent, but you're going to 
make me deadly", as she stands side by side with Misty breathing like a 
typhoon.
 
Misty is still wondering though because she asks him angrily, "But why did 
you join Team Rocket??" Meowth leaps up to cut off Justin, "Well foist of 
all to teach you twoips a lesson!", before Jessie swats him out of the way 
and yells at him to let the new guy talk. "He's right!", says Justin, "And 
also to capture some rare pokemon.... like yours! Go Dragonite!", as the 
dangerous orange-Barney type pokemon comes out. 
 
Misty then snaps since an outsider talked about her relationship with Ash, 
"You're not going to mock my friendship with Ash or my pokemon! Go 
Staryu!", and Staryu comes out to the sharp cry of "Hya!" Crystal then 
sends out Totodile to fight as it does its usual insane dancing. 
 
"Time to teach y'all a lesson... attack them Dragonite with a body slam!", 
yells TR Justin. Dragonite then looks back at him 
and............................... shakes his head in refusal. Justin snaps
angrily at it claiming that they are the enemies and tells it to 
attack...... but Dragonite takes the pussy way out and refuses. So Justin 
steams and calls back Dragonite and then brings out another pokeball.
 
Meowth then asks what happens and James keenly observes, "Well Meowth, it 
appears as if Justin's pokemon is refusing to fight for some reason" Justin 
then angrily proclaims that Nidoqueen is his most obedient pokemon and that 
she'll obey him (remember... all Nidoqueen are female) and fight the 
twerps. 
 
So Nidoqueen comes out and Justin yells this time for it to use a thunder 
attack. But unfortunately for him.......... Nidoqueen also won't obey 
either which makes him tear some hair out........ well almost. He calls 
back Nidoqueen and then sends out Raticate and Hoothoot but with the same 
results. "Aaaaaarrrrrrrgggghhhhh! None of my pokemon are listening!", 
shouts a deranged Justin as Misty sneers back, "Well it serves you 
right.... they didn't ask to be criminals" 
 
Jessie then has seen enough and has decided to take this on herself as she 
sends out Arbok. She then yells at James to help out as well and he sends 
out Victreebel who instead... attacks Justin this time. In panic, Justin 
cries out, "Don't attack me.... I'm actually a bad guy this time", 
unknowing of the fact that attacks nothing but bad guys. 
 
The two girls take the fight to them as Staryu hits Arbok with a spinning 
tackle back towards the balloon. Victreebel tries to use a razor leaf on 
Totodile but the insane little pokemon just dances around the attack as 
Staryu soaks TR with its water gun. Justin then comments that, "This is 
becoming a disaster!", while Meowth responds, "Dis is already a 
disasta..... it was just waitin ta happen." 
 
Crystal then sics Sandshrew who covers all of TR with its sand. She then 
has Pikachu thundershock the group as Justin quips, "They should've given 
me hazard pay.", as Wobbuffet decides to makes its appearance and patiently 
console the newest TR member. Finally, Crystal has Totodile use its 
insanely powerful water gun which makes no scientific sense as to why its 
so powerful but nevertheless......... 
 
"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off agaaaaaaaain!" "Wobba!" 
 
Oh Wobbuffet sums it all up brilliantly every time. 
 
"Well they may have a new face... but it's the same old story with TR", 
mocks Misty whilst Crystal responds, "Guess so!", as she tries to 
congratulate Totodile but it moves around too much to be petted. A voice 
then comes from the distance, "I was hearing some noises out here! Is there 
anything wrong?" The woman has long, blue hair and talks as if she's a 
wacko. Ms. Icy Hair Psycho..... ah hell.... I'll just call her Miss Karen 
and get it over with. 
 
Crystal responds to her question, "No... not anymore! There's usually just 
a lot of noise following us", trying to make a joke out of it and failing 
horrendously. Miss Karen smirks and then introduces herself to Crystal and 
an impressed Misty. Crystal tells her that they've come to get a little 
advice on taking on the Kanto League as Sandshrew gets embarrased over how 
shy Crystal is at the moment. Karen then says she'll invite them to her 
house so they can chat for awhile Misty calls back Staryu and the girls
smile with delight knowing that they get another chance to freeload food 
and perhaps in Crystal's case...... some other things. 
 
 
<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon?? 
 It's Starmie! ............ "Hyuww"
 
 
Meanwhile in a small forest outside the lake area, Team Rocket finally 
lands with bruises to their bodies..... and Justin's ego. 
"Uuuuuggggghhhhhh..... that hurt a little more than usual", states a half 
dead Jessie. Meowth wonders why she said that as Justin turns to them in a 
GAS saying, "Now THAT was bad..... I can't understand how you can take this 
so often." "I can't figure it out eitha", answers Meowth as James adds, 
"Nor can the writers figure it out!" 
 
But Jessie is ticked shouting at Justin that if he made his pokemon listen 
to him, they wouldn't have ended up like they are................... in 
GAS's. Justin yells back at her that he doesn't know what happened and that 
his pokemon always listened to him before. "Well I didn't let you in our 
group so we could fail some more!", snaps Jessie asserting her status as 
the leader even with a new character in TR. 
 
He then goes hysterical claiming that he didn't want to be associated with 
these "losers". "You may call us losers but at least we look good losing 
unlike you!", shouts James in a hysterical retaliation. Justin shouts some 
more until he screams that he can't take J, J, & M anymore and goes off 
screaming into the woods like a crazy person. 
 
Perhaps we have a new Blair Witch theory.......... Team Rocket just looks 
in confusion as Jessie comments, "Everyone just keeps getting weirder and 
weirder!", which cues Wobbuffet to make another patiently pleased 
appearance. "Thanks for the example Wobbuffet!", she growls at the blue 
blob as it goes "Wobb!" one more time. 
 
We then go to Crystal and Misty who are with Miss Karen at her house doing 
some more freeloading. Crystal comes out of the bathroom looking all 
bloodshot thanks her for allowing them the chance to freeload some food and 
advice from an Elite Four member as Miss Karen's Umbreon humps her leg a la 
Chikorita the glamour ho. She chuckles (chuckles?) at Umbreon's playfulness 
(playfulness!!?) and asks Karen if she knows anything about the Kanto 
League. 
 
OK............ it's pretty clear about what she did in the bathroom. 
Although the host doesn't care as she looks like she's on some hemp 
herself.
 
"Well", starts Karen with a little airhead chuckle, she explains that the 
Kanto league is a more advanced version of the old school Indigo League. 
While she utters a lot of unimportant to us as she bounces around like a 
woman who hardly looks like an Elite Four trainer, Togepi plays mind games 
with the pokemon as it makes Sandshrew and Umbreon roll it around back and 
forth on its freaky egg's side. 
 
After Misty whispers towards Cris-tal that Karen seems a little spaced out, 
Karen concludes with her key point. "But remember, your pokemon will only 
work their best for you if you yourself are true with your own personal 
intentions. They have lives, too, and they can sense when their master has 
changed in any sense.", Karen notes. 
 
The girls then kiss up to and thank her for all her sage advice not even 
mentioning all the food they pigged out on. They then mention that they're 
going to find a place nearby to set up shelter for the night. Karen 
suggests the beach as Cris-tal wows saying it's a great idea and she warns 
her about TR and their "new member". Misty assures her and says, "Don't 
worry.... TR won't mess with Karen........ if they're smart!", as they then 
laugh as Misty then adds, "Uh... I don't think we have to worry about 
Karen." They finally leave waving good night as they leave into the night.
 
Looking up into the night, the girls look like they're high as they chat as 
Misty seems to be pondering lesbianism. "Well..... I hope my motives are 
true enough so that my pokemon will listen to me!", notes Cris-tal. 
Misty though reassures her boo (hopefully for her), "Don't worry 
Crystal.... Ash has trained his pokemon well enough to understand.... I'm 
sure of it!" Cris-tal thanks Misty as Pikachu pikachu's to her I guess to 
say that Misty is correct and they finally all go to sleep.
 
Back at Miss Karen's house, she is in her pajamas talking on the videophone 
with a very familiar pair of elite hooters. Why..... she's on the phone 
with..... yes!........ Miss Prima, the titty goddess herself. 
Okay........... I think I can end the fanfic here........ 
 
.............................. 
 
.............................. 
 
..............................ah hell..... I'll just finish it. Anyway, the
two Elite Four members (Though not of the same Elite Four but who
really gives a f*ck.... it's Prima!) just exchange some elite small talk.
Karen then ends it by saying, "That guy was just simply slammin' last 
night!" Prima chuckles and says that she's going to bed as does Karen as 
the line to Prima and her titties is disconnected <sniff>. 
 
Karen gives a big stretch after getting totally stoned so she can sleep but 
before she can turn the light off, she sees a rogue figure outside her 
window on her property. It's Justin who just had a horrible experience with 
Team Rocket as he just sits on a tree stump looking all down and drugged. 
 
Justin gives out a big "Uuuuuyyyyyy!" and then a voice shouts, "Hey!" It 
turns out to be Karen who noticed an alleged hobo on her property. "Are you 
with that Team Rocket, kid?", snaps Karen as Justin looks up and starts to 
panic in true Ash style. He then (unlike Ash) collects himself and says 
back to her, "What if I am?"
 
But then Karen the whack-job just laughs and jokes with him, "Don't 
worry... I'm not out here to argue with you... and even if I was... I think 
I could defend myself!", that despite the fact that she's more than likely 
stoned. Justin says that she looks familiar and asks her who she is and she 
tells him.
 
She explains that she's worried that a suspicious person/hobo is wandering 
listlessly on her property and that she can't fall under a surprise attack 
etc., etc. She then asks if he really is in Team Rocket and he responds 
confusedly, "Well I guess so.... uh... not really..... perhaps.... uh 
well..... I don't know if I want to." Karen points out that he's confused 
and needs guidance.
 
Wow? I don't think anyone outside the Elite Four could pick that up! 
***Sarcasm Meter explodes*** 
 
"You know.... I'll chat with you if you want to... and I know that you're 
with Team Rocket!", claims Karen as they begin to walk side by side. When 
Justin asks how she knew Miss Karen replies, "I could tell by those 
horrendously outdated pair of pants you're wearing!", which makes Justin 
fall down anime-style. He responds sheepishly, "I'd never thought someone 
would accuse me of bad fashion", demonstrating one aspect of his pimp 
lifestyle of having the right clothing. 
 
Justin explains to her that he tried out Team Rocket but then when he sent
out his pokemon, they wouldn't obey him. Karen tells him that maybe they 
were just looking out for him and that they were trying to tell him that 
they don't like what is happening to you. She explains some more and then 
tells him, "I bet you're pokemon will obey you now... try some moves out 
and.. I'll even let Umbreon engage in a battle with you." 
 
He ponders it over and wonders if his pokemon will obey him now that he's 
not up to no good with Team Rocket and then he decides it's worth a go and 
sends back out Dragonite. He stutters and then suggests to the big orange 
to try a leer attack on Umbreon.... and low and behold.... it obeys him to 
his delight. 
 
Justin then asks her if the pokemon were only ignoring orders because they 
were concerned for him. Dragonite nods to cover up the fact that his 
pokemon were too scared of doing evil things and Justin smiles and states, 
"I'm feelin that!", as it slaps Dragonite on the shoulder. It also agrees 
to Justin when he asks it if it'll battle for him. 
 
Justin answers to her that he doesn't understand how his pokemon could be 
so disobedient one minute and be so good the next minute. Karen then 
stresses to him that maybe he should listen to his pokemon. He then 
concludes that his pokemon were telling him that he made a wrong decision. 
All his pokemon then come out unannounced (Dragonite, Hoothoot, Kabutops,
Gyarados, Raticate, and Nidoqueen) to tell him that he is right not knowing 
that Justin is wrong.
 
"I guess I know what I have to do now as far as Crystal, Misty, and Team 
Rocket is concerned!", says Justin. "I'm sure you'll do the right thing", 
assures Miss Karen who finishes, "And for giving me such a great battle 
earlier, I'll give you these absolutely spiffy pink shades.", as she 
squeals the 'spiffy' part. He then pictures the horror and monstrosity 
that is Justin himself in those retro pink shades. He then scares us more 
by looking up at Dragonite and then back down saying, "I'll think these 
will look good!"
 
<shudder> 
 
Meanwhile we see several hours pass by in seconds as morning comes up. 
Crystal, Misty, Pikachu, Sandshrew, and Togepi wake up to see something 
weird ............. and red (??????) surrounding them. The girls jump 
up to see what's happening and try to break out of the little dome they're 
encased in. Crystal then asks how TR this TR dome TR got TR here. 
 
Jessie laughs as the original TR appears from above in their happy Buddha-
faced Meowth balloon.
 
"Your chances of winning will now diminish"
"And now we'll say the lines that we didn't finish"
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all peoples within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James"
"Team Rocket blast of at the speed of light, light, light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight, fight, fight, fight"
 
"Wobbuffet!", screams the patiently pleased blue thing as Meowth kicks it 
away, "That's right!"
 
"Team Rocket!", scream the girls and the pokemon duo in translation. 
"But... what happened to your other member?", jokes Cris-tal. Meowth 
answers, "Uh... he kinda went cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!" The girls and 
TR just give him a confused look as Jessie yells at Meowth, "Meowth! What 
the hell are Cocoa Puffs?" Meowth replies to sum up this hilarious 
dialogue, "Oh... I musta forgot we ain't in da real world!"
 
Heh heh heh.... gotta love TR. Not even the real world is safe from their 
jokes. 
 
Jessie then proclaims that now that the fool (Justin) is out of the way, 
they can go back to being the successful team that they were. "I wonder 
what world they're in?", asks Misty towards Crystal as Togepi just gives 
a puzzled response, "Toge?" Jessie announces that it's time to take Pikachu 
and that little Sandshrew, too. But Crystal interrupts saying they can't 
keep them caged that easily as she sends out Bulbasaur and tells it to try 
and break the dome with its razor leaf. But it doesn't work as Jessie 
announces that the dome is made of state-of-the-art plastic and not even 
the sharpest objects can break it. 
 
Claws from the balloon come down through two small holes in the dome to 
snatch the two pokemon as Crystal shouts, "Nooooo!" "Time to bring home the 
bacon!", announces James sounding as gay as he possibly can. But as TR is 
bringing the two pokemon up, a mysterious thing darts through the cable 
snapping it in two to Team Rocket's horror.
 
That mysterious dart turns out to be Justin as it begins to circle TR on 
Dragonite many, many times. Misty and Crystal spot Justin but wonder what 
he's doing. Jessie yells at Justin that he's screwing up their plans again 
as Wobbuffet cheers at the site of its newest partner unaware of what is 
transpiring. "Oh... uh I'm sorry I have to do this guys but I have to set 
things right for myself", says Justin. 
 
"So I guess that means you won't be wit Team Rocket anymore", comments 
Meowth. "Sorry Meowth", Justin answers, "I'm afraid things between us just 
won't work out! Let's go Dragonite!", the screen then pans down 
and we see Dragonite wearing those pink goggle thingies which look much 
better on an animal then it does on a person. 
 
Dragonite and Justin then circle TR's balloon so fast that the balloon 
itself spins making TR totally dizzy. Justin then decides that its time to 
free the protagonists and sends out Kabutops who rips the open hole in the 
dome wider so the girls, Togepi, and Bulbasaur can escape. Jessie then 
scolds Kabutops for meddling and then falls over from dizziness Justin then 
yells that it's time to take it to them and he shouts at Kabutops to get in 
the water.
 
Kabutops then rides the surf all the way onto a grounded TR who doesn't see 
it coming. "I guess Justin has come to his senses!", thinks Misty as 
Crystal tells Pikachu to use thunderbolt. Justin then goes over to thank 
Crystal and then says he can handle things from here. Dragonite then 
charges up a hyper beam with which to blast TR into the stratosphere with. 
 
TR meanwhile is trying to ponder why things failed this time. "Isn't there 
any way we could have good luck for a change?", comments James. "Maybe you 
should sell cream puffs", snaps Jessie, "You'd get rich doing that!" They 
then notice that Dragonite is about to blast them and Meowth shouts in 
terror, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Not hypa beeeeaaamm!", as the rest of them 
scream. 
 
"Go Dragonite!", Justin yells as the hyper beam nails TR as...........
 
"We're blasting off agaaaiiinnn!" "Wobbuh!" 
 
Crystal was very impressed by the way Justin handled his pokemon out there. 
Misty then asks why he helped them as Justin then explains that he wanted 
to make things right. He then adds that TR wouldn't ever work out because 
his pokemon care too much for him. He adds that they helped him see the 
light as he pets Kabutops who emits a silent, "Kbtops." 
 
Justin then apologizes for all the trouble that he caused them while 
Crystal does the lady-like thing and accepts the apology saying that they 
might have had a hand in it. She adds that they may have took him for 
granted but that doesn't mean his help with Ash wasn't appreciated any less 
as Misty agrees. Misty now has the opportunity she's been waiting for.... 
(that horny little girl)! She suggests that he can even come with them on 
Crystal's pokemon journey and that way he can find more schools that may 
interest him. 
 
Justin accepts the offer to come with them so any prior differences can be 
buried as he then adds one more horrible pun of a comment. "This journey is 
bound to be educational!", he quips as Pikachu shouts in enjoyment of all 
the bad puns. Justin then calls back Kabutops and Dragonite as Crystal 
returns Bulbasaur to its pokeball. They all laugh as they all walk along 
the beach together as the sun rises. 
 
Meanwhile, looking in the background as a voyeur is Karen and her Umbreon. 
She tells Umbreon, "See Umbreon... I knew that Justin would make things 
right! And I think that girl is going to be just fine." 
 
As we see the new Team Toyboy walking down the beach one more time unaware 
that they're being watched by the whacko Elite Four lady, we try to figure 
out what I learned from writing this. Then the lesson hits like a ton of 
bricks almost knocking me unconscious..... oh wait a minute... I'm already 
almost unconscious. Nevermind!
 
The moral I learned here is... you can never turn out to be a bad guy if 
your pokemon are total pussies. That is the truth... written and spoken. 
Amen and good night brothers and sisters.
 
To Be Continued