Dragonitemare presents
Pokemon Crystal series
Ep. 11
THE SEARCH AND SAVE OPERATIONS
If you remember from last time (and if you don't, study up damn
you!!!!!!!!!), ahem....... Ash & co. was headed back to Pallet along with
Justin for a huge post-Johto celebration. And you KNOW how they celebrate
in Pallet! But... a Team Rocket plot sabotages the bus and makes it speed
out of control on the highway.
Thanks to the heroics of some of the passengers, everyone got off the
speeding bus safely....... everyone that is.... except for TR (who no one
cared to save) and Ash (who solidifies his place in history as the dumbest
action hero ever) who stays to try and get Pikachu.
BUT...... things work out a little differently this time. Team Rocket still
gets blasted off after the bus slams into a cliff though this time they
blast off with Pikachu. James then gets the idea to have a slumber party to
celebrate their "success" as they probably gab the night away talking about
girl stuff.
But Ash?........... he was launched out of the bus by a nasty pothole and
was slammed against the same cliff area that the bus crashed into. Or to
put it more simply...... the action hero got his ass kicked. Now we arrive
back on the scene as both Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy have arrived on the
scene along with other police officers at the scene of the accident.
"Okay everyone! Clear your pokemon and yourselves away from the accident
scene so the police can investigate", announces Jenny so the police can do
their job and she can get a tan as the carnage unfolds around her. Nurse
Joy and Chansey rush to Ash and clear everyone out of the way (including a
hysterical Mrs. Ketchum who sounds really funny when she whines).
She begins to examine Ash who is lain barely conscious on the ground. When
Ash somewhat comes to, he isn't worried about his many injuries and in fact
tries to get up as he yells, "Ugh..... Pikachu!", but he falls back down
and starts vomiting. Eeeeeewwwwwww. He passes back out as Nurse Joy tells
him that he shouldn't move or he'll hurt himself more. "We have to get him
to a hospital!", yells Joy (I don't know which one it is so don't even
think of asking!). But Jenny comes over and tells her the bad news that the
nearest hospital is a half an hour drive away (which means they're in the
middle of nowhere).
Everyone gasps in fright at this news by the do-nothing Jenny as Brock
stares at Joy's breasts and Oaky consoles a very upset Mrs. Ketchum <heh>.
Tracey then wonders, "So how can we possibly get Ash to the hospital?" "And
how are we going to get back Pikachu?", adds Misty as Togepi emits a wave
of fake concern for the entire group as it is really enjoying every minute
of this death and destruction. Ugh......... that EVIL, EVIL egg thingy!
So as the twerps save an old hero and his pokemon.... a new hero and her
pokemon will emerge out of the opium fields of suburbia (or something like
that) and start to shine her light on the world of dodginess.
<cue intro>
Officer Jenny informs us that the fire has been put out and she moves
curious onlookers away because there's obviously nothing to see! (Nothing
except for a half-dead Ash on the ground and a totally wrecked bus you
corrupt SOB.) "Going by bus... it'll take about a half hour to reach the
hospital. That's way too long", informs Tracey. Then Justin pops up and
states, "Well we'll have to do something about that. This looks like a job
for.... Dragonite!" he boldly announces with the echoes of a superhero.
Dragonite comes out and roars and then Justin tells it they need him to fly
Ash to the nearest hospital. "Are you sure you can handle him? His
condition is critical!" interrupts a nervous Nurse Joy. "Leave it to me",
flirts Justin as Brock cuts in a tells her, "And leave it to me, too!",
causing Justin and Misty to show a sweatdrop at the sight of Justin getting
cockblocked.
Nurse Joy then points out a direction like Sacajawea (famous Native
American if you don't know) and tells them they find the hospital if they
go this way. "Right", eagerly answers Brock as he and Justin load Ash onto
Dragonite. Brock yells that he and Justin will take care of Ash and tells
Misty and Tracey to look for Pikachu. "Take care of my boy!", shouts a
depressed Mrs. Ketchum whose face looks like she's suffering from a serious
case of crack-cocaine withdrawal.
Guess we know what she's going to do tonight!
As Ash is being flown to the hospital, we are taken to a house on the
outskirts of Viridian City. Inside this house, we see a woman in her mid-
40s with black hair and tan skin finishing her chores for the day. She
calls upstairs and yells, "Crystal.... are you ready for work?" After a
brief moment we hear, "Here I come, mom!" And down the stairs comes......
duh-duh-duh-DUH... pokemon's new hero.... Crystal.
She has tan skin but not quite as tan as Brock, black hair, green eyes, and
she's wearing bellbottoms (???) and a Phish tee shirt. She looks like she's
been to a few Woodstock's in her life..... She comes down the stairs and
taking a deep breath sounding very relaxed..... and there's a very good
reason for that oh-hoh-hoh-hoh. She then tells her mom, "Yeah, I'm
ready.... come on, Sandshrew!" And down the stairs comes a golden colored
Sandshrew racing down to be along with her high trainer.
Her mom tells her to have fun volunteering at the hospital and she says, "I
will!" She then mopes a little and whispers to herself, "I'd really have
fun if I could live my dream and go on the road to be a pokemon trainer."
And then her mom, who apparently is psychic (it's not as unusual as you
think in the pokemon world.) goes over to her tells her, "Well Crystal, you
love helping out other people.. if you just keep up what you love doing the
most that will give you the most satisfaction you could ask for."
Well... we all know what gives our other characters the most possible
satisfaction.
Ash........ being the master of pokemon that will know all about those
cuddly little creatures.
Misty.............. mastering water pokemon, escaping the clutches of the
ever more powerful Togepi, and getting into Ash's pants.
Brock.............. being with a pretty babe
Tracey............... hanging around that dirty old man, Prof. Oak
Jessie............... being as evil as possible
James................ well......... we know what will satisfy him
Crystal's mom continues, "You never know, today might be the day you get
your big break.", as if she were a fortune teller. She thanks her mom as
she picks up an odd odor coming from Crystal.... something like smoke......
hmmmm. Crystal and Sandshrew then leave for the hospital as she later
walking on the way there asks Sandshrew, "Are you ready for some work?" to
which Sandshrew agrees.
I wonder what she's REALLY going to the hospital for........ rehab maybe?
A bypasser walks by in the other direction and greets her, "Hi there....
nice Sandshrew you have there." She thanks him and tells him that he has a
nice Sunflora because she knows that Sunflora gives off some nice opium.
Gee........... can't wait for Ash to meet her......... laughs aplenty
should come with it.
Speaking of Ash, he has arrived at the hospital thanks to Justin,
Dragonite, and a very eager Brock. A doctor and another nurse Joy come on
the scene to see what is going on. Brock tells Nurse Joy with tears coming
down his face, "My friend was involved in a serious accident.... please use
your extraordinary healing powers to help him nurse Joy."
The doctor and Nurse Joy take a look at Ash and gasp in horror probably due
to the fact that someone that brain-dead could be a successful pokemon
trainer. But instead, they cover their real shock and the doctor shouts,
"This patient is in a very bad way..... Joy, take him to the ICU stat!",
turning this episode into an ER crossover minus every single star on the
show. Nurse Joy aye-aye's and rushes him away on a stretcher.
"What do ya think he's suffered, doc?" asks Justin. "Well", the doctor
answers, "He's in very bad shape.... I would say that he has several broken
bones and multiple sprains. It's a good thing you brought him here so
quickly." "You can thank Dragonite for that!" answers Justin as Brock adds,
"Fa sho", acting as black as he's capable of acting. Justin then "rewards"
Dragonite by returning him into his pokeball as it roars.
Meanwhile, another groups of homeys are still chilling in good spirits as
they have Pikachu in their possession. "Finally, all our painful
humiliation will pay off when we get this Pikachu to the boss.", shouts
James in glee. "We'll prove to the boss our true mettle and we'll finally
get respect", says Jessie. "And we might even get a medal for dis rare
Pikachu!", laughs Meowth in PUN-ishment, "And we'll finally start ta
shine".
James notices a sign that says that they're three miles away from Viridian
City. They then get all psyched up and taunt a pissed off Pikachu who's
helpless to escape at the moment. Crystal and her Sandshrew then come
towards them unbeknownst to TR as they continue to shout.
Back at the hospital, Ash is lying in a coma which means he can't spew out
any more non-sensical statements while Justin and Brock look on and hope
for the best. Nurse Joy then comes in and Brock immediately races to her
asking her what news she has for them. Nurse Joy announces to him that his
mom and Prof. Oak (his dad) have arrived as Brock blushes and thanks Nurse
Joy for that "wonderful" news.
"Oooooohhhhhhh! How's my baby doing?", asks Mrs. Ketchum. She looks at him
with concern as he is recovering in his hospital bed. "He's bruised pretty
well... I'm worried about whether he'll be able to continue training to be
a pokemon master", adds Oaky. "And what about his pokemon?", asks Brock.
"Good question. This could change his life forever.", says a depressed
Prof. Oak knowing that Ash will be around needing constant support leaving
him and Mrs. Ketchum without privacy.
Nurse Joy then comes in to do some medical work on Ash. This is when Mrs.
Ketchum asks her what's going on with Ash. Joy then tells her about all the
injusries that he received from the bus accident which include several
broken bones, bruises, lacerations, etc. Nurse Joy then tells her that he
going to be hospitalized for a long time, which moves Mrs. Ketchum to
tears.
Ash then regains some consciousness but obviously not any intelligence when
he says, "Ugh-uuugggghhhh. Where am I? Ughhh, where's Pikachu?", as he
shouts and tries to get out of his bed to search for Pikachu but he's too
injured and falls back down. "You shouldn't get out of bed yet.... you're
in very bad shape.", states Nurse Joy. "She's right, you know", adds Brock
quickly in an effort to bone her.
"But....... what...... <cough> ....... about.... Pikachu?", asks Ash, "I
can't lose Pikachu". Prof. Oak tells Nurse Joy about the relationship Ash
and Pikachu have and Nurse Joy shows some concern with Pikachu missing.
"Don't y'all worry Ash", consoles Justin, "Misty and Tracey are out after
Team Rocket to try and get Pikachu back." "There you go.... see, we haven't
given up on Pikachu.", adds Brock who then tells nurse Joy that he'd never
give up on a comrade and that he'd certainly never give up on her.
"That's nice but you'd really win my heart if you were an adult and let me
work here!", says Joy getting all bitchy on him to the despair of Mr.
Squinty Eyes. Ash tells him about Brock's fetish with Nurse Joys. Joy then
tells Ash that they will have to operate on him in a little while.
"Uuuggghhhh...... operate?", says Ash who's IQ is at a first grade level if
that. Then Joy tells him in a dodgy statement, "Don't worry, like Brock,
you won't feel a thing."
I wonder what she's really going to operate on him while he's knocked out.
Meanwhile, Crystal has approached TR who is now in disguise as a couple.
Jessie in a polo shirt and shorts and James in......... well............ a
blouse and a skirt (he he he he he) with Meowth on his shoulder playing a
house pet. Crystal greets the couple and is curious about why Pikachu is
cased in a shock-proof cage.
"You know you shouldn't abuse a Pikachu like that!", shouts Crystal with
the voice of a true pothead. Jessie snaps back angrily that this is none of
her business which honestly is true. Meowth agrees and so does Wobbuffet
who comes out of its pokeball to the indifference of Jessie. But Crystal's
a little too stoned and persists, "You can't do that, it's cruelty to
pokemon", she then asks a frantic Pikachu if it belongs to TR and it shakes
his head no.
"If you think you're going to cruise on by treating Pikachu like that, well
I'm here to stop you from doing that!", shouts Crystal. "Hah... if you
thought we were mean to this Pikachu we stole... wait till you see how mean
we can be to you!", shouts back Jessie. "You numbskull... you just admitted
that you stole it!" shouts an angry Meowth.
"Stole!!!?", scorns Crystal with an angry look on her face. Guess she
doesn't like it when there's violence going on anywhere..... hippie! "Is
that true?!", she yells as TR in disguise starts to fumble around words,
"Well... I guess I should do a public service and take that Pikachu away
from you robber! You better prepare for some legal trouble you three
crooks." "Shrew!", adds Sandshrew.
"I don't think you know who you're dealing with, missy!", shouts James
still in disguise which makes Crystal shocks to find out that the pretty
lady sounds like a gay guy. "Yeah... but now you're gonna get our full
range a anger and criminal bahavia.", adds Meowth. "How is that Meowth
talking?", wonders Crystal.
"Prepare for a lot of trouble you snitchy little mole!"
"And make it double you can't take what we stole!"
"To protect the world from devastation"
"To unite all people's within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love"
"To extend our reach to the stars above"
"Jessie"
"James", as they are now in their regular attire.
"Team Rocket blasting off on the nosy"
"Surrender now or your future won't be rosy!"
"Wooobbbuuuhhh", as Meowth jumps on the back of its head and finishes,
"That's right!"
"So you're Team Rocket! I'm not afraid of you." shouts Crystal. "Well, you
should be more scared than you've ever been before.", answers Jessie,
"Dat's because we've neva been dis angry bafore", adds Meowth. "We're so
close to fulfilling our long awaited goal and we're not going to have it
shattered over you, Missy!", says James who keeps calling her Missy.
It's so gay....... and y'all love it. Ya know you do!
"Fine", says Cris-tal, "Then we'll have a battle and whoever wins gets to
keep Pikachu. If I can't get Pikachu away from you, then you can run free
with it." "Come and get it if you can", says Jessie in dodgy fashion.
Crystal tells Sandshrew to use slash to break open the Pikachu case. It
leaps up attempting to get to Pikachu to free it but Jessie throws the case
to James who drops it but Pikachu is not freed. Sandshrew ends up slashing
Jessie's face and she screams in pain.
Meowth and James look in horror as Meowth quips, "Uh-oh!" "I thought she
couldn't get any angrier but maybe I was wrong.", adds James. Then, we hear
an absolutely emormous shriek.
In a field a mile or so away, Venonat and Azumarill are called out by
Tracey who's accompanied by Misty and it's master Togepi and he tells them
to find Pikachu and TR. They begin to use their super-senses and after a
few seconds, they pick up a lead and head towards a forest with Tracey and
Misty in hot pursuit.
"Don't worry Ash..... I'll get back Pikachu!", thinks Misty, "For you",
trying to find a way to escape Togepi and give Ash a gift to try and get
him to do her.
<cue commercial> Who's that pokemon???
...................... It's Quilava!.......... "Quiiiiiiiilllllllaaaaaahhhh"
The crew at the hospital is waiting impatiently as the doctors and nurses
operate on Ash. Nurse Joy is updating Oaky on his son's condition as Joy
tells them that Ash is progressing well and the operation is going smoothly
so far but it'll be a long time before things go back to normal. She then
says it'll be another hour before the operation's done which means she'll
have 60 more minutes to sate herself on an exposed Ash. "Hang in there,
Ash!", says Brock to Ash telepathically, "You too, Nurse Joy!"
Just a damn moment before I go further..............I thought Nurse Joys
were only at pokemon centers? Ah well, there are so goddamn many of them
that they can't all work with pokemon.
Meanwhile, back at the Phish tailgate party gone wrong, Crystal taunts
Jessie who's beautiful face was scarred. "You deserve that you ugly
witch!", shouts Crystal who if she didn't ignite Jessie fuse with her
previous comment, then she certainly did now.
"You're going to be sorry for that... I accept your battle challenge! Go
Arbok!", screams an enraged Jessie. "Jess is the best! She'll rip that girl
into shreds!", adds James. "Dat goil might be shredded wheat when dis is
ova!", adds Meowth. "I'D SHRED A LOT FASTER IF YOU TWO HALFWITS HELPED
ME!!!", screams Jessie. James quickly cowers, "Oh, right! Go Weezing!"
Crystal then shouts, "2 on 1", in a discouraged look on her face. Jessie
screams back at her that she'll have to win their way. Crystal retaliates,
"Fine, go Sandshrew!" in what has become one of the most ferocious cat
fights in pokemon history. TR then laughs at the fact that she wants to
fight the "dreaded" TR with a puny Sandshrew.
A babelicious redhead, a talking Meowth, and a gay guy with blue hair that
squeals half the time..... yeah! They're real dreaded.
Arbok then tries to tackle but Sandshrew leaps out of the way and body
slams it. Weezing then uses its depressed, watered-down smog attack which
is blasted away by a powerful sand-attack. (It's the pokemon world....
don't ask me how that happens.) Sandshrew then slashes Weezing at the
command of Cris-tal. She then takes a huge breath of fresh air which must
smell pretty good and tells Sandshrew, "Keep it up!"
Jessie, of course, is not pleased with the outcome thus far and yells at
Arbok to to use wrap attack. It wraps around Sandshrew who escapes using a
rollout. "Ok Sandshrew.... now show them your Sandstorm", orders Crystal. A
barrage of sand comes out of nowhere and starts to batter Arbok and
Weezing. At this point, Jessie drops Pikachu's case and it breaks open in
the oncoming Sandstorm to the horror of Team Rocket.
"There's so much sand.... we should be at the beach", whines James. "Yeah,
but we might end up becomin buried treasure", adds Meowth in some more PUN-
ishment. Sandshrew is then told to use skull bash and with Arbok and
Weezing unable to fight through the sandstorm, Sandshrew nails them back
into TR whom ends up in a heap.
"There's too much sand! My hair will be ruined!", shouts Jessie who's
worried about her #1 concern. Wobbuffet tries to "Wobbuh" but it's also
caught up in the sandstorm. Jessie then throws it into the battle and tells
it to use counter and believe it or not, it actually works and deflects the
sandstorm onto Sandshrew, the druggie, and Pikachu.
Crystal then yells at Sandshrew to use slash attack but Wobbuffet counters
that away as well to the shock of Crystal who calls the patiently pleased
blue-blob "probably their strongest pokemon." So she tries to think of a
plan to fight against Wobbuffet but then she gets an idea real fast unlike
Ash who would have to take five minutes to get an idea. "Sandshrew, poison
it with toxic", she yells and the poison gets to poor Wobbuffet so badly
that it runs in fright behind Jessie.
.........................
......................... Like you wouldn't!!!!
"My poor Wobbuffet!", shouts Jessie showing some concern for a change about
Wobbuffet, "That was a dirty and no good trick", she yells. "Heh.... you're
talking about dirty and no good!" snaps back Crystal. "Well, you little
hippie", shouts Jessie figuring out her deal rather quickly, "Let's see if
you find this hip!" as Meowth takes out a bazooka loaded with ammo.
She gasps as things look bleak until Pikachu steps in and jumps high
delivering a thunderbolt in dramatic fashion stopping Meowth from firing
the bazooka. "oh great" gasps James, "If it's not one meddling twerps, it's
another." Crystal then tells Sandshrew to use one more skull bash and it
slams the TR pile and they're sent flying.
"Well, we were was close!", moans Jessie. Oh, you wish dodgers! "If it
wasn't for dat Crystal.... we'd be da ones sparkling for da boss", adds
Meowth, "But instead...."
"We're blasting off agaaaaaiiiiiiiiin!" as Wobbuffet punctuates their
defeat with a "Wooobbbbb"
"Are you okay", asks Crystal to Pikachu who nods, "You must be missing your
master! How are you feeling? Wanna relax?" Pikachu takes to this very
lovingly as if it's found it's mommy. We then flash through a few moments
showing Crystal petting Pikachu, feeds him some Pika-pellets, and playing
for a little while with it's newest friend, Sandshrew. Crystal then offers
to carry Pikachu to her hospital so she's not any more late for work (or
rehab) where she hopes his master will find this lost Pikachu.
After they head for the hospital.... Ash is still being worked on by the
doctors. Nurse Joy comes in on the secretly dysfunctional family to give
them an update on Ash. "Well... the first operation went successfully
without a hitch but he's still got a long way to go before he can get out
of bed again!", says Joy. "Hmm.... At least there won't be any permanent
damage to Ash.", replies Oaky. "But Professor", states Mrs. Ketchum calling
him his secret pet name, "Ash isn't feeling any better."
Old Man Oak assured his lover that Ash will be better soon. Brock then
chimes in declaring, "He'll feel better once he gets Pikachu back!"
"Say.... that gives me an idea!", interrupts Joy, "Do you think any of his
other pokemon could help in the healing process?" "Say..... that's a great
idea", adds Justin as Brock admires her intelligence.
And when Brock admires..... he doesn't admire.... he ADMIRES!!!!!
The learned Professor Oak says that Meganium has special healing powers and
that he's noticed Meganium use its miracle cures before. You know.........
like how the horny Meganium cured his impotence among other things. So
Meganium comes out to notice the horror of its crush lying unconscious in a
hospital bed. It then bumps aside a few doctors with that fat ass of hers
and starts to rub against his cheek and lick him.
Nurse Joy asks it if it'll help with Ash and she easily agrees. Huh! She
then suggests that all of his pokemon can come out so they can encourage
Ash through the painful recovery. And one by one, Cyndaquil, Totodile (who
happy but not dancing like the lunatic he normally is), Noctowl, and
Bulbasaur.
"That should cheer him up!", shouts Justin whose cheer falls on deaf ears
to his disappointment. "He won't get totally better until Pikachu comes
back.", states Brock as his other pokemon look on and worry for his safety
or more likely (for Totodile)...... thinking insane thoughts.... like a
naughty Quagsire.
We then go back out on the path to the hospital a half an hour later. Damn!
Half an hour and she still ain't there yet? .......Hasn't this bitch ever
heard of mass transit? Or is she busy with "another activity" that you
can't do on buses or subways? Anyhoo, she walks towards the hospital which
she tells Pikachu is only a mile away when she then runs into
............................... Ash????!
"Pikachu!", shouts Ash who has his cap backwards and has ..... blue hair??
Ah hell, you've probably guessed who it is already... and why not? It's
another original disguise.
But otherwise, James is disguised exactly as the twerp and you wouldn't be
able to tell them apart minus the few differences. Now James goes on as he
tells Crystal about how he's been looking for Pikachu and also says, "and
I'm always being a twerp getting beat by that no good Team Rocket......
ain't that right Misty?" And out comes "Misty" who has her gorgeous red
hair layered and is wearing Misty trademark outfit...... only with much
more massive breasts!
Those disguises are ingenious but second rate compared to Meowth in a
freaky Togepi egg shell with his fur spiked up just like the evil Togepi.
"I'm so thankful you rescued Pikachu for my boy Ash", she says solidifying
their knowledge of their romance. Meowth then does his Togepi impression
and sounds quite cool, "Toge-toge-priii!"
Eager, but puzzled, Crystal assures the "boy" that Pikachu is in safe hands
as she then tells him, "Just in case, I think you should take him to the
nearby pokemon center." James then grabs Pikachu and cheers some more about
how thankful he is for Crystal. "In fact", says Jessie, "I think we should
reward you!", as she and James fires lasso-bazookas which collar her and
Sandshrew!
"Aaaagh! Sandshrew!", shouts Crystal, "What's going on?" She then realizes
who the fortunate trainers really are as they throw off their disguises and
asks them, "Why don't you go away and give up you guys?!" After all, she's
not the crack-baby that Ash is...... she's just the birth mother of a
future crack baby. And the vicious cycle of brain dead pokemon trainers
continue. Anyway, mTR answers Cris-tal's question in rhyme....
"Prepare for trouble, we'll steal anything in sight"
"And make it double if we have to all night"
Before they can continue, Wobbuffet comes out in front of them and salutes
and the front of the pack. "Nice timin...... I didn't feel like hearin
anutta motto!" Pikachu tries to shock away but it is held by James and his
shock-proof gloves.
The health-conscious (outside of drugs) Crystal warns them, "That Pikachu
might be feelin' ill and you're responsible for that!" "Hah", retorts
Jessie, "Thanks for the medical advice." "Yeah! That's why were going to
give Pikachu and Sandshrew a check-up with the boss!", adds James. Meowth
chimes in, "And since ya like bein' wit dis rat all da time, we're takin
you too ta be da visitin nurse!"
TR laughs as Jessie says to James, "Time to reel in our catch", a line
which sounds more rocketshippy than my liking. Unless of course, Jessie was
artificially inseminated which is probably what would happen. Back to the
live action, they try to move Crystal and Sandshrew towards a giant set-up
cage. But before they can get them to the cage, super-pimp Scyther comes to
the rescue and breaks the ropes and the bazookas.
TR is startled at the appearance of Scyther as Misty and Tracey find TR
raising havoc. They point out TR and they yell at them that they are
getting back Pikachu! Hmmm, took them a while to find TR though..... even
with all those super-senses. I guess they were busy having some fun
............ know what I'm sayin'?
Team Rocket stands up for themselves as Jessie shouts, "We won't take
defeat standing still!", which is exactly what Wobbuffet is doing as it
says a "Wooobbbbuuuhhh" in front of Jessie to her annoyance. "Errrrr....
stop stalling and start fighting!", screams Jessie as Wobbuffet is set to
battle. James also throws out Victreebel to battle who doesn't attack
James....... at least not yet!
Misty and Tracey go into the battle as Misty sends out Poliwhirl and Tracey
goes with Azumarill. Crystal then gets a idea with Pikachu and on her cue
that Pikachu notices. It uses its cute little paws to escape James's
clutches while he's distracted and sort of proves his heterosexuality. "Oh
no.... it escaped!", whines James as Pikachu runs not to Misty or
Tracey.... but to its newfound caregiver, Crystal.
"But you won't escape!", shouts James, "Victreebel! Go!" And that is
exactly when it goes...... turns around and attacks James........ of
course. This chases TR around in a circle like a bunch of confused hens.
Misty then tells Poliwhirl to round up the hens and use doubleslap. It goes
in and slaps around TR like bitches as Azumarill pounds them all from
outside with a water gun.
As Team Rocket lays soaking in a giant pile of wet bodies..... sounds
dreamy to you, eh?.............. Misty goes over to Crystal and asks with a
suggestive look towards her, "We're you the one that helped save Pikachu?"
...... hmmmm? Crystal tells her that she's been fighting with Team Rocket
to get Pikachu back. She then asks Misty and Tracey if one of them was it's
trainer. Misty responds that she was trying to get it back for "her
friend!" and that she's grateful from the bottom of her heart.
Yeah, Misty...... like there's any use hiding it!
"Well we're not grateful", snaps James in his usual flamboyant anger, "In
fact, we're very grateless because of your actions! Victreebel... stop em
with sleep powder!", not really making any sense. Victreebel screams and
then sends the sleep powder towards Poliwhirl and Azumarill to the twerps
anxiety. But Crystal tells Sandshrew to step in and blow it away with a
sandstorm.
The sand blows away Victreebel's sleep powder to its shrieking horror and
stops TR in its tracks. "There's so much sand on me..... I should be in a
desert", moans James. Jessie then shrieks, "Aaaagh, my beautiful stylish
uniform is all covered with wet sand!" Cris-tal tells Tracey and Misty to
send them packing and they agree.
Poliwhirl and Azumarill are both told to use water gun simultaneously and
Sandshrew uses a full power body slam. The combined attacks send TR
blasting off a second time while Wobbuffet wobbuh's off a second time.
Crystal then tells Misty that she'll leave Pikachu with her and she looks
lovingly at Pikachu and tells it to behave...... aww.... like Pikachu's a
little troublemaker! "Okay!", shouts Tracey, "Let's go take Pikachu back to
Ash at the Cattalia City Medical Center." They start to go when Cris-tal
shouts to stop them, "Hey...... the Cattalia City Medical Center is where I
work!", not disclosing the true purpose of her trip there, "I'm on my way
there right now!"
"Great!", shouts Misty as Togepi controls her every move, "Then why don't
we all go there together?" They all agree as Pikachu pika's to indicate
that it wants to walk along side its new friends, Crystal and Sandshrew.
And they all head on their way to the hospital to bring Pikachu back to its
real owner. But first, they'll probably but a few ounces.... and some blunt
paper as they spend the next hour relaxing having a 4:20. Misty and Tracey
are about to get a future glimpse of their life as potheads!
To Be Continued