It’s about 6 in the morning, now why I’m awake at an early time like this is completely beneath me but seeing Davina already awake and heaving a heavy-looking shoulder bag on made me rub my eyes and check my alarm clock twice. Yep, it still reads 6:00am, no make that 6:01am now.

“Davina!” I yelled at her whilst trying to stifle a yawn, “What do you think you’re doing? It’s six in the morning girl!”

Davina looked at me with her lips tightly pressed together as she tied her denim jacket tight around her, pulling on the sleeves sharply in a way that involved my neck resembling it, whilst looking at me with a look of rage about her. I nervously gulped and slowly retreated to the wall. I remember having the same look from Chelsea – my cousin – whenever I do something that seriously annoys her. It’s like her way of using body language saying something along the lines of ‘You’ve really screwed this one up big time Joey’ or ‘You are going to pay for this one way or another boy’. Either way it never ends all happily ever after, well it would for Chelsea but definitely not for me. I took a chance and asked her in the most naïve voice possible: ‘What did I do?’ Davina doubled on me the moment those words left my mouth and all I could do was listen to her with a terrified and wimpy look on my face.

“What did I do? What did I do? After insulting me and my family all you can say is ‘What did I do?’” she said angrily, mocking my voice funnily as she said the ‘What did I do?’ part.
I shrugged my shoulders and controlled myself not to laugh at her impression of me and said ‘Sorry?’. It couldn’t have come out as good as I imagined since Davina pulled the pillow from beside me and chucked it in my face.
“Dad said we could be great friends. That I could show you the ropes and all. Well I’m certainly showing you the ropes boy-o. I’m showing you how to get out of my sight. In style!” she screamed in my face as she took a strong hold on my shirt and hauled me out of bed.

If this was her idea of me ‘getting out of her sight in so-called style’ then obviously we were two completely different people. And now, I seriously regret calling girls skittish. Because of my big mouth, guess what, I am being dragged out of my bed and out of a room I rented by a girl whom I have just realised to have underestimated and misunderstood physical strength. Who knew a girl with her looks could have the strength literally equal to a Machoke? Aren't I lucky though that I was wearing the same clothes as yesterday than sleeping in my underwear like I had planned. No seriously think about it, how humiliating would it be to be thrown out of your room? Very humiliating right? Well visualise yourself dragged out of that same room in your underwear. Talk about ‘Hoenn’s Most Embarrassing Moments’. That would take 1st place surely! Well I wasn’t going to give in to a girl that easily. There is no way a man would let himself be dragged pathetically across the carpet floor by a housewife. So what am I going to do about it? Well pokemon were made for battling right? Well then, since I have only one pokemon I might as well put it to good use. So how did I get that only pokeball I have from my bag when I was being man- handled by a girl? Well as I was being dragged to the door I simply grabbed my bag and took out the only pokeball I had as fast as I could.

“Mudkip go” I ordered throwing the only pokeball I had at Davina.

For once in my entire thirteen years alive on this planet, I was actually happy to see the little mud fish appear in front of me with it’s trademark expression.

“Erm … Use Bubble … on Davina”
Mudkip simply looked at me with a confused look and frothed slightly at the mouth.
“Mudkip’s don’t learn the attack ‘Bubble’ Joey” Davina said to me with a blank expression, “You really are as dumb as I thought” she shouted at me slamming the door.

She re-opened the door a second later, but that was only to throw my bag and jumper out before shutting it again.

“Well fine then! That just proves you’re a … a girl!” I yelled at the door, in a failed attempt to make her let me in.
“Leave Joey! NOW!!!” she replied with the anger of a thousand Tauros.

Scary how girls can be so … ferocious, at times. Well I guess there was nothing else to do about it except deal with it. After all, just last night I had said ‘No pain, no game’. Now it’s time to show how I can live with this and move on. So I said …

“Hey Davina! How about we have a challenge?”

I didn’t think this would work, especially since she was so mad at me right now. But to my utter surprise the door slowly creaked open and there was Davina, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips glaring down at me – since I had made no effort to get up – and she rolled her eyes and shook her head in this not-bothered kind of way.

“Wait!” and I placed a hand on the door, holding it back, “How about we”
But then Davina doubled on me again and said ‘How about you leave me alone?!”
“No listen, how about we both have a Pokemon match?”
Davina’s lips curved upwards into a sneaky, devilish-kind of smile and she brought the door back open.
“Okay then, how about we make this more interesting then Davi? How about we have this challenge of seeing who can get all eight badges before the other, and the person who gets the head start has to be able to beat the opponent in a one-on-one, to the end and I’m talking about a full on knock-out match!”
“Joey you couldn’t battle with pokemon, even if you’re life depended on it” she spat at me trying to close the door again.

I was desperate to not be chucked out of a room I rented so I once again pushed open the door and begged.

“How about I bet twenty-five quid that I will beat you in a Pokemon battle, and another fifty that I will get all of the badges before you and then sixty five that I will get to the Pokemon league before you?”

Hold up. Did I just say all of that? Did I just bet one hundred and forty odd quid on something I’m going to lose? Tell me I didn’t bet ALL my money on a Pokemon match! Oh lord I just did. This isn’t going to end happily for me, no way. I better kiss my money and dignity goodbye cause this battle is going to be lost before I even command an attack.

“Okay then Joey” Davina said grinning opening the door quickly, “I accept your challenge”

Well there was no turning back now right? There was only one thing I could do, and that was to battle my hardest and pray that the holy gods from above would grant me that one wish I wanted more than anything right now. There was only one thing to do, and that was to put on a smile and shake on it.

~

It was still early morning; abut 6:47 am my clock had read the last time I checked, and Davina and I were fully clothed in our usual wear – me with my jumper and shoes on now – and we were prepared for a full-on, one-on-one, knock-out match. Davina was leading me to this so-called-special place where we could battle it out in style. Davina and style usually result in masses of chaos. Well since it was the early morning and all, various locations were deserted, or near to it. And this special place Davina was leading me to sure was empty and quiet. It was a little playground. Sand pit, slides, swing sets, see-saws, climbing frames, monkey bars … this place was ideal for all pokemon types I found. The sand pit was great for ground types, the climbing frame for bird types and pokemon that are used to hanging from branches and such. This place was perfect for a knockout battle. Davina was pleased with my reaction and so we took our positions opposite each other on either side of this small area.

“You ready Joey?” she asked stroking a pokeball that hang by her belt.
“Ready like I always am!”
“Ha, now that's understatement of the year! Go Zigzagoon!” she cried, “Try this one Joey, Zigzagoon is a normal-typed pokemon and is neutral with nearly every pokemon type except rock, ground, steel and fighting! Your Mudkip doesn’t stand a chance!”

She was right. I may not be the expert on pokemon but just like dark typed pokemon, normal typed pokemon were neutral with a lot of types; which meant it was a good match-up in combat, depending on the combinations of moves you use I guess. Mudkip was my only pokemon so I sent it out. Nothing classy, I just simply threw the ball onto the field and watched it open up and let the Mudkip free. Well not free-free, like as in go and live in the wilderness. I meant more of free as in you’re temporarily out of that pokeball but only to win me this battle and hopefully the right to keep all of my saved up allowance money. Anyhow, Mudkip was on the field and it was obvious to see how this battle would be most … remarkable.

“Okay then Zigzagoon, lets start this up with a Tackle!” Davina said doing one of her sophisticated poses where she stands with one foot in front of the other pointing to Mudkip with this look of roaring ferocity about her.

Well I was stuck on ideas. I didn’t know what attacks Mudkips could use, so I took a random guess with the first idea that hit me.

“Mudkip, use Tackle too!”

Totally unoriginal, I know. But it was the first idea I thought of!

The Zigzagoon and Mudkip charged towards each other and it looked like it was going to hurt, well that was until the suspense broke me down and I told Mudkip to leap into the air. Turns out it was a clever move since the Zigzagoon kept on charging and went head first into the swings. Most awkward, I must say. Lucky thing Mudkip was sluggish though since it jumped at the right time when Zigzagoon wouldn’t have had a chance to slow down and avoid collision. Well the Zigzagoon managed to work with the motion of the swing and was perfectly balanced, at Davina’s command it jumped off and landed on one side of the see-saw. I decided now was a good idea to check up on Mudkip’s known attacks.

“Mudkip, the mud fish pokemon,” said the PokeDex – and yes I know, hard to believe a guy like me would consider using a nerd’s PokeDex, “Mudkip knows Tackle, Foresight, Water Gun and Mud Slap. It can learn Hydro Pump, Bide, Take Down and Endeavour by levelling up.”

Okay then, now I have learnt Mudkip knows Foresight, Water Gun and Mud Slap … what does Foresight do then? Might as well find out.

“Mudkip lets try and use Foresight!” I said to the Mudkip.

It nodded to me saying ‘mud’ and then it wiggled those disgusting little orange gills. It turned to face the Zigzagoon which was standing growling on one side of the see-saw. So that’s what Foresight is then, it senses where the opponent is. That could come in handy with the use of creativity.

“Zigzagoon Quick Attack that Mudkip”
“Mudkip Water Gun ‘im!”

Running full speed at Mudkip, the Zigzagoon was completely unaware of the attack that was waiting to happen. It didn’t take long for that rush of water to come blasting out of that one little Mudkip’s mouth and into the Zigzagoon. Ha, should have seen it’s face. That look of sheer surprise on both Davina AND her pokemon. It was blasted backwards at an incredible rate into the slide. The water attack died down and Zigzagoon slid down the slide and onto the floor. It got to it’s feet and growled fearlessly at Mudkip as if nothing had just happened.

“Use Water Gun … again!”

I can’t keep using Water Gun, but what were those attacks again …

“There’s no way you’re tricking me twice Joey. Zigzagoon Pin Missile!”

The Zigzagoon stood and began to shake it’s fur, as it did so needle-like pins shot out at all directions. Mudkip’s Water Gun dispelled most of the pin missiles but it wasn’t enough, luckily with the help of reflexes the mud fish was able to dodge and evade every missile.

“Erm, keep it up Mudkip”

I’m not really the one for encouragement and all but Mudkip did look pretty tired after dodging every attack and it was plain to see it’s stamina was running low on fuel, which might explain why Davina hadn’t decided on a change of attacks yet. It was amazing how this little blue creature could bend it’s back to evade one missile and then do something like a handstand and then use it’s tail to propel itself skywards while using Water Gun to dispel any other approaching needles. Hold on … Water Gun, in the air? That just triggered something, this memory. That old cartoon show, what was it called … ‘Gigi Growlithe and Vito Vulpix’, that episode … where Gigi got hold of a hose and pointed it to the floor, and Vito turned it on …

There was no time to waste on dawdling in my head and I ordered a Water Gun … on the ground. Just as I anticipated Mudkip went zooming skywards. The sun made this lovely and very stylish looking rainbow with the water effect and next thing you know Mudkip is barely visible in the vast blue skies.

“Foresight then Water Gun now!” I yelled, cupping my hands to my mouth to magnify my voice.

I could have sworn that I heard a little ‘Mud’ sound and next thing you know a stream of water comes shooting from the sky down to Zigzagoon. Just as I hoped, Foresight would have helped Mudkip to locate Zigzagoon – even from that height hopefully – so that Water Gun would be ensured to hit. Ha, those looks on Davina and Zigzagoon! Oh, that’s a classic. Ever seen somebody stand there completely gob smacked with a look of disbelief on their face? Good thing it isn’t breakfast because I would have seen everything she was chewing, ha! Apart from my perfectly conducted plan, one thing I didn’t plan was Mudkip’s entry from the sky. There’s a cry from above and ‘BAM!’ Mudkip lands smack on my face soaking wet with this innocent and delighted look. Well I guess I shouldn’t have been too cocky about Davina since she’s now the one whose laughing her socks off. Sheesh, talk about first stop at Humiliation Station.

“Hey!” I say to Davina who is checking her fainted Zigzagoon, “At least I won!”
“Hey!” Davina yelled back to me mocking my voice, “At least I didn’t get dive-bombed in the face by my pokemon!”

And with that she continued giggling in her girlish way with the fainted and defeated Zigzagoon in her arms. She stopped laughing kinda suddenly and gazed down at the pokemon with this sad expression. You see, losers are like that. She wouldn’t even say congratulations, just took a seat on a swing quietly sobbing. It’s not like her pokemon’s dead or something. I can see it’s chest rising and falling like normal so there’s nothing to fear really. And the thing is, I guess, I COULDN’T CARE LESS! And no I am not kidding, and yes I do mean it. After all I won fairly and now I get to keep my money!

Davina got up of the swing seat and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and said to me boldly “I’m going to hang back here in Oldale for a while until my Zigzagoon is fully recovered”

Jeez, she really did care a lot about that little brown thing. Well isn’t it lucky not all of us are as … well overly emotional like Davina. As I’ve said before; no pain, no game. But just to be on her good side …

“Davina? Is it going to be … okay?”
“A few nights at the Pokemon Centre will do well. Don’t worry” she replied putting on this smile to prove it.
“Okay then, I’m going to go now, we spent long enough on the battle I want to get to Petalburg and challenge Norman before dark” I said turning to leave.
“And Joey, great battle” she finished holding out a hand.

We both shook, and for a girl, Davina has got one heck of a tight grip.

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Author’s Notes: