ANIMALS

Disclaimer: I don’t own Pokémon, or the song ‘Animals’ by Nickelback.

Summary: Ash and Misty are busted when she sings in the shower.

Note: The lyrics to the song have been changed slightly to make it easier for Misty to sing, as the song is more guy-orientated. So she/her becomes he/him, okay?

Speech. Thoughts. Lyrics.

Delia hummed softly to herself as she opened the door before letting Mimey out to attend to the garden. She’d really enjoyed her shopping spree in Celadon City, and had even managed to find some new boxer shorts that she was sure Ash would love. Smiling at the bulky packages, she carried one upstairs to put on his bed for when he returned. ‘That’s funny,’ she thought as she tried the handle. ‘I don’t remember locking this door before I left...’ Shifting the parcel around, Delia reached into her pocket and took out her set of keys.

Delia dropped the parcel, stunned. Ash, her Ash, was lying in bed, with a girl in his arms. Moving closer, she looked into the face of the sleeping girl. ‘Misty?!’ Taking a closer look, she could see that their faces were flushed, and judging by the goofy grins and the soft contented snoring, the inevitable had happened. ‘My baby...’ Looking around the room, Delia saw their clothes thrown haphazardly around. ‘Is that his pants, on the ceiling fan?!’ With a soft plop, they fell to the floor.

Delia paced the kitchen, nervously as she heard voices and noises coming from upstairs. The bedroom door opened and closed, and after a brief moment, the bathroom door echoed it. Ash whistled lightly as he almost skipped down the stairs, into the kitchen and grabbed a carton of juice from the fridge. Leaning on the door, he started to gulp it down. Stopping for a breath, he turned around and came face to face with... “Mum! What are... when did you get back?!” “Just now.” “Oh.” Noticing her frown, he glanced at the carton in his hand. “Um, I am gonna finish this.” He grinned before tipping the carton back and draining it. “See ya!” he pitched the carton into the bin and turned to leave. “Hold it right there, Ashton Nathaniel Ketchum!”

Ash turned slowly. ‘Uh-oh, full name, she couldn’t have... I hope not...’ “Uh, yes, mum?” Delia pointed at the nearby chair. “Sit down right this minute, young man!” Ash gulped. ‘That’s another warning sign...’ “Y-Yes, mum.” Ash sat and looked as innocent as possible. This was made harder as images of last night kept insisting on popping into his head, making him grin involuntarily. Above, they heard the pipes stop rattling as the water was shut off, and Misty whistling loudly. Ash groaned. ‘I’m dead...’ Delia opened her mouth, and Ash flinched, terrified...

“I, I’m driving back on black

Just got my license back.” Misty’s voice drifted down the stairs. Ash and Delia stared up at the ceiling above their heads.

“I’ve got this feeling in my veins

This train is coming off the track

I’ll ask, polite, if the devil needs a ride

Because the angel on my right

aint hanging out with me tonight

I’m driving past your house

While you were sneaking out

I got the car door opened up

So you could jump in on the run

Your mum, don’t know that you are missing

She’d be pissed if she could see the parts of you that I’ve been kissing, screaming.” Ash froze in horror and slowly moved his eyes back down to Delia. She had bitten her lip in shock, but hadn’t even noticed. ‘Maybe I can make it to the door...’ Ash slowly shifted his weight. “Stay right there!” Delia didn’t even glance down.

“Oh! We’re never gonna quit

Aint nothing wrong with it

Just acting like we’re animals

Oh, no matter where we go

‘Cause everybody knows

We’re just a couple of animals.” Ash suddenly got itchy all over and nervously edged away from the imminent explosion that was his mother.

“So come on baby, get in

Get in, just get in,

Check out the trouble we’re in.” ‘You have NO IDEA!’ Ash thought desperately, little realizing that Delia was thinking the exact same thing.

“You’re beside me on the seat

I’ve got my hand between your knees

And I control how fast we go

By just how hard I wanna squeeze

It’s hard to steer

When I’m breathing in your ear

But you’ve got both hands on the wheel

While I’ve got both hands on your gear.” Ash groaned and banged his head on the table.

“By now, no doubt that we were heading south

I guess nobody ever taught me not to speak with a full mouth

‘Cause this, was it, like flicking on a switch

It felt so good he almost drove into a ditch. I’m screaming!” Delia had by now developed a twitch just by her left eye that was steadily getting worse.

“Oh! We’re never gonna quit

Aint nothing wrong with it

Just acting like we’re animals

No, no matter where we go

‘Cause everybody knows

We’re just a couple of animals.” Misty left the bathroom and padded across the hall to Ash’s room.

“So come on baby, get in

Get in, just get in,

Look at the trouble we’re in.”

Ash had by now given himself a small concussion, whilst Delia was on the verge of a major mental breakdown. ‘If I survive this, it’d be a miracle...’ Ash thought before knocking out another chunk of his brain. “Ow.” The torture continued...

“We, were parked out by the tracks

We’re sitting in the back

And we’d just started getting busy

When he whispered, ‘what was that?!’

The wind, I think

‘Cause no-one else knows where we are

And that was when I started screaming,

‘That’s my dad outside the car!’

Oh please, the keys

They’re not in the ignition

Must have dropped into the floor

When we were switching our positions

I guess, they knew that we were missing

As I tried to tell my dad

It was my mouth that he was kissing. Screaming,

Oh! We’re never gonna quit

Aint nothing wrong with it

Just acting like we’re animals

Oh, no matter where we go

‘Cause everybody knows

We’re just a couple of animals.” They heard the door opening as Misty dropped her towel into the hamper and started down the stairs.

“So come on baby, get in

Get in, just get in,

Check out the trouble we’re in

Get in, just get in!” Misty played a quick drum beat on the railing and skipped the last few steps, stopping short as she entered the kitchen. Ash had his head in his arms at the table and was shaking his head and moaning softly. Delia was unsure whether she should look incredibly angry, or highly amused, and ended up looking like she was about to burst out with insane laughter, before killing them all. “Oh, um, hi... Crap.” Misty sighed and glanced at Ash. “Busted?” He nodded dimly. “Figured as much.” Misty sat down and waited for the final judgement.

Okay, seeing as nobody actually knows Ash’s middle name, or if he even has one, I had to make one up. Mums are always scarier when they use your full name. It’s how you know that you’re REALLY in trouble, and won’t be able to talk yourself out of it. On a slightly different subject, you may consider this a sequel to ‘HONEST’ if you like, as that’s what the idea originally started as. But I wrote it as a separate story, with faint links to ‘HONEST’, so it all just depends on how you want to read it. By the way, I don’t usually like to mention ages, but for this one, and ‘HONEST”, they were about early twenties. If you want to think of them as being younger, or older, then that’s your business, okay?

AUSSIE WOLF.

3-Apr-09 (fixed)